@kerbos76 I agree. 15h in and it’s decent enough. Can’t wait to play with friends but tbf, my mind is only on Arc Raiders so Marathon will be a good cleanser between RE9 and GTA6.
@ARCRaidersGame You should be proud, game is amazing. Even more amazing would just be to put the game out now into early access 😅 (first time i've ever thought about a game like this)
I screwed up big time. The internet has been right basically since the beginning, and it's taken me multiple waves of self reflection and internal fighting to get to the point where I can fully admit fault without holding back. I lied to the internet, repeatedly. I cheated, and betrayed the trust of countless people that believed in me. Viewers, family, friends. Everyone. Myself. I carry a lot of baggage, and you all got exposed to it in the worst way. I lied directly to @danielrensch. I lied directly to @WolfeyGlick and used him as a prop on stream. He didn't deserve that. None of you did. I messaged him directly to apologize, and I'll gladly do it on stream, too.
I've spent a big part of my life being really good at games. When I suddenly wasn't good enough, I lied. Between games while waiting, they said to be sure to only have one https://t.co/ATvqBQyBuL window open. So I was playing games against a computer on my other monitor using https://t.co/51UIkWShhm where my chat window usually is to practice between rounds. Once I blundered my queen, I panicked. I used the analysis feature there and my brain couldn't stop after that. I figured out the lines, but every time I panicked after that, I did it again. It wasn't something that I planned on doing. I really did practice quite a bit leading up to the event.
People kept asking me why I did it - I think I did it for a false sense of self validation. To convince myself that I could win when clearly I shouldn't have. It was disrespectful to the entire online chess community. I was stupid enough to not even considering the consequences of what I was doing. And I accept those consequences now, because I deserve it. I understand that people are going to question everything in my career now. I don't blame them. I was the guy that vocally hated people who cheated in video games, Tarkov is riddled with it. And I did the most hypocritical thing I could do.
I talked about mental health on stream yesterday morning because that stuff is very real for me. I'm restarting therapy this afternoon, I found someone through Sondermind that was available almost immediately, which was nice. I clearly have a problem with honesty to myself and those that care about me. It sucks that it took something like this to blow up in my face, but I'm hoping that it results in me finally fixing problems with myself that I've had for years.
I'm sorry. To everyone. My friends and family. People that watch me. Anyone that I associate with. I betrayed your trust. I hope one day people can forgive me, and I understand if they can't. I hope one day I can forgive myself, too. I'm typically pretty hard on myself.
@DrLupo Shit thing to do, you we're the pure one (literally said this to a friend a week ago) but to fuck up is human. No glazing needed, you get to feel bad for a while cuz the internet be like that, after a week they will move on and you hopefully learned a lesson. Don't get caught:P
I wanna be honest and real for a min:
The whole Bungie/Marathon/Destiny situation is so weird to me. It doesn't make sense in my brain.
You have Bungie making the most successful sci-fi, live service, looter shooter of all time, over the last 10 years. They were already known for Halo, and Destiny took it to the next level.
Destiny starts to fatigue. Development starts to become lazy and stale. Bungie fucking OWNS the live service shooter market, with basically no competition, so there's no reason to change.. cause it sells. But as things remain stale for Destiny, there's a HUGE window open in the market. A Destiny 3 fresh start would have been the greatest gift to the community, a community that is far beyond a cult-following. It would have plunged life back into the franchise. D2 just cannot hang on forever.
So instead... they cancel D3, and launch a brand new game. It's not PvP like Halo; it's not a Destiny-like; it's an extraction shooter... kinda a weird genre imo. You have all these Bungie/Destiny fans that WANT to like Marathon, but the truth is - there's little crossover between Destiny players and extraction shooter players. It exists, but it's not what many would want. So who's the target audience here?
Destiny players want Marathon to succeed, so Bungie can succeed, and therefore push resources back into Destiny, and have Destiny succeed. As for Marathon right now, it doesn't look like it's revolutionizing the video game world or anything. It kinda gives off a "been there, done that" extraction shooter vibe. I know it's early, things could change. But these are my early impressions.
So the whole thing just kinda confuses me.. a bit? I dunno. I just feel like a game winning ball was dropped.. hard. This isn't a hate post. I WISH Marathon succeeds; at least at the minimum, selfishly, so that Destiny continues to get more love lol. This is more of a "these are my shower thoughts" post.
Take care, everyone. Much love.