Sixth Grade Sub

between jobs, i took a long term sub position for a 6th grade class at a local elementary school. though i have a master's degree, i have no training to do this

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

I just entered the #Ham4Ham lottery to win $10 #Hamiltour tickets! https://t.co/RuXlZY6SKt via @Lucky_Seat

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

I just entered the #Ham4Ham lottery to win $10 #Hamiltour tickets! https://t.co/RuXlZY6SKt via @Lucky_Seat

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

I just entered the #Ham4Ham lottery to win $10 #Hamiltour tickets! https://t.co/RuXlZY6SKt via @Lucky_Seat

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

I just entered the #Ham4Ham lottery to win $10 #Hamiltour tickets! https://t.co/RuXlZY6SKt via @Lucky_Seat

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

STUDENT- Did u know Kanye West was illuminati?
TEACHER- What exactly do u think illuminati is?
STUDENT- That's what an illuminati would say

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

Am i the only one who sees a problem here?

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

A first grader came up to me today on the playground and said that another student called her "butt cheeks." I accident laughed in her face

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

STUDENT: Yo mamma is so dumb, she went to the store, put a battery up her butt & said Im powered up!
SUB: she didn't have a battery at home?

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

Jam free huh??? This is what i did today.

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

Student A stabbed student B w/a pencil because B told the class that A was "playing with himself" in the bathroom.

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

STUDENT: oh wow, your hair isn't messed up for once.

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

STUDENT: what's the hulacast?
SUB: The Holocaust was the murder of millions of Jews in Europe. Hulacast is probably a hawaiian TV channel.

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

The worst place for a 6th grade boy to sit after PE is in front of the fan bc it blows his adolescent BO around the room #lessonlearned

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

When I was in sixth grade I had to do a 25 page report. I gave my students 3 weeks to write a 1 page paper & parents complained #YChinaWins

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

SUB: what is the style of this poem?
STUDENT: I don't know. He ain't wearing any clothes!

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

SUB Daniel, why are u touching me?
STUDENT Just cause
SUB Do u need something?
STUDENT Stop making this more difficult than it needs to be

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

I gave a quiz today that included the question "T or F. The UK is ruled by an evil vampire called the queen." They didn't all get it right.

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

SUB: 4minutes and 30seconds left!
STUDENT: but you just said 5minutes!
SUB: you're right! 30seconds ago!

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

Hearing class do the pledge & call us indivisible is a reminder of how broken our country is. Time 2 stop the hate Please share #stopthehate

[Sixth Grade Sub @SixthGradeSub]

BOY STUDENT: Do you have any lotion I can borrow?
SUB: (long pause) I honestly have no idea how to respond to that.