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The witty insight and quotes of one of Seattle's finest sales reps.

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It's slutricious

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After tasting a WA Malbec; its a total muffin top, hangin' over the edge

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Tardles and James.

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They are all hair lips and peg legs.

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When describing a wine from Bordeaux: Spices, Sweat and matted back hair

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Is that guy from Boston? No, he's phillapino with a speech impediment!

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He's about to get an email enema.

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Glutardation is rampant right now.

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This is a big wine. It has funk in the trunk.

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I'm so freaking white center McHeebs.

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Lake Wolfalottacocka

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That drink is felony good.

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That beer is glutritional.

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You are the ducks guts. #therealdeal

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Cuntie-pants-a-saurus-Rex

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That belly is like skin over a turtle shell. #youknowthatshitshard

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He blossoms into an idiot of elephantine proportions.

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@Sketch_isms @mackpaddy

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The man himself.

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Chunder the barbarian.