Deals

I quickly tweet what my kids say before I forget, and then agonize over all the typos that Twitter will not let me correct.

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Stalling before bed…

Husband: Good night!

9yo: I have 3 very important questions.

Husband: I’ll answer 1.

9yo: But I have 3.

Husband: Better ask the most important one & save the two for tomorrow.

9yo: Okay, did Dolly Parton ever have plastic surgery?

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The 9yo just referred to a fortune cookie as a “magic biscuit”.

That is all.

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The 9yo & 12yo’s guitar teacher is getting married this weekend. We got him a gift & asked the kids to sign a card.

The 9yo wrote a lengthy paragraph expressing her excitement for the couple & their future. Lots of adjs & flowery language.

The 12yo wrote 2 words:

“Good Luck”

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@Almondsthedog We told ours for years that we couldn’t move to Colorado permanently bc they didn’t have schools. Cut to the oldest learning to read, and informing us of all the buildings in town labeled “school”.

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Just here to say that “hope you feel better” should always be replaced with “hop you feel beeder” from here on out.

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@Almondsthedog 😳

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The 8yo went w/me to pick plants to grow in our yard. This is why my 2024 garden has a Taylor Swift theme. The tomatoes are Juliet cherries. I’ve got more lavender than I know what to do with. She wanted roses but rosette. She said “that’s okay. It’s mostly about the thorns”. 😳

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@Almondsthedog

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@Almondsthedog Second

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8yo (after running two miles): I feel exercited.

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The 8yo thinks all Christmas sweaters are called “ugly” & randomly tells people she loves their ugly Christmas sweater. Somehow “ugly” is a synonym for “cute” in this very specific context. Efforts to clarify this both to her & the public at large have been largely unsuccessful.

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Who wants to tell the 8yo that Taylor Swift’s song, Wildest Dreams, isn’t about her emotions graduating from 1st grade & having to say goodbye to one of her favorite teachers (who is staying home this year with her baby boy)?

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@Almondsthedog

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11yo: So, you’d just throw me under the bucket?

Me (*blink, blink*): …You mean a bus?

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Today I learned that the 8yo does not like cheetahs…

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@Scatter_Cushion Goose is adorable.

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8yo: That’s just so animated.

(In this context, animated seems to mean something akin to “basic”)

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11yo: Erasers are to erase mistakes, right?

8yo: Yep!

11yo: Hmmm…

*starts rubbing eraser back and forth on sister’s arm*

8yo: Heyyyyy!

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@Almondsthedog I *think* it is bc of yellow being on white paper. And possibly being rather faint? And maybe also bc of a combo of what colors dogs and people who experience color blindness can see? She asks a lot of questions so I’m not sure exactly what brought this on. 😂

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8yo: Daddy? Can old people see yellow?