SmileyQuotes

The Best quotes from the strange man in a white van your mother warned you about: @Mr_Smiley69

run by @dadbigh, @woody33745170 and @KnifeyspooneyB4

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

https://t.co/sr0e7vEfGw

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

"Who knew rock could be so beautiful?"

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

Finlay: it’s true there aren’t many ice-cream van ladies
Jack: that’s coz there are less lady children touchers

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

"My dad used to have a button in his car that would play machine gun sounds"

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

“I’m like Dolly, I’m not a real sheep”

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

"I've actually been to Anne Frank's house... its quite big really"

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

"women get bloated because they don't fart enough."

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

"they made me where trousers AND shoes!"

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

"when you fart as much as I do, you gain control (over the farts presumably)."

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

"I don't think any cheese has ever seen a cow"

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

"Rich people who think beans (baked) are just for when you can't afford food are wrong. Beans are delicious."

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

"I honestly can't read."

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

URETHRA!

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

Smiley has eaten an unpackaged Tesco sandwich found on the floor of a pub bathroom for the princely sum of £15

Smiley called it "a tiny bit crispy from being in the open"

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

Smiley caught mid magical girl transformation

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

"That's just adventures flirting"

[SmileyQuotes @SmileyQuotes5]

H: "I think smiley would make a good a good bull fighter"
Smiley: "it doesn't interest me at all"