@snarkyinSeitz

Back on the Twitter sass, still off of gluten

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

@DanelYang It was a growler full, however much that is. Lol

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

Security: What’s in your backpack? Me: Beer.
Security: is that it?
Me: yes....
#Stagecoach2019

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

25 is going to the store for condoms and coming back with $30 worth of artisan cheese instead and being just as excited about the purchase.

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

https://t.co/daPRHwFZqN

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

Mary: what is that noise?
Fred: I’m practicing wearing flip flops. I haven’t worn them in 57 years.

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

Mary on society’s progress and cup coolers: I tell you what. Beverage drinking has come a long way.

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

Mom: this aunt can’t have gluten either
Rachel: god this family is going down hill

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

Why don’t shotgun rules apply to the plane? Shotty not sitting next to any kids.....

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

Saw a couple get excited about California pistachios and I wanted to smack them out of their hands and be like you are monsters! The Resnicks are monsters. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk sponsored by @thedollop #paperwater #stayinformed

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

I love the airport because you can drink at 9 am with no judgement.

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

Ben just said “this margarita is fanstastic for this song” that is all.

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

Already shopping for #coachella2019 like the good Cali stereotype I have become. #festivalseason #glitterisglutenfree

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

You know what else people aren’t talking about? The fact that adults have a favorite grocery store. Not, chain, but like a specific location of that chain. Oh it’s a big day I’m going to the Ralph’s up Lincoln bc that’s the good Ralph’s. #adultlife

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

It’s almost 2019 how have people not learned that Facebook isn’t your diary. #how

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

@sufferfestbeer LA Marathon!! My first Marathon and I would love a beer at the end #glutenfreerunners #sufferfest

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

PSA: my Spotify Most Listened to 2018 is fire. #noshame

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

We have 400000000 settings on the microwave. I am postive none of them work but the “center cut bacon” setting. I literally cook everything on center cut bacon. #american

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

Being gluten free drunk is hard for everyone. “Can you have them shange their gloshves” can easily be misconstrued. It’s the like roulette of gluten. Was I coherent enough to get my serious point across? We will find out in 2-4 business days. #staytuned

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

@MarthaStewart went to Green Egg BBQ and asked them to make her a custom colored bbq 😹

[@snarkyinSeitz @snarkyinseitz]

Mission impossible theme song jazz remix: same thing, just @TomCruise singing the word “Jazz” over the instrumentals while doing jazz hands. #missionimpossible #jazz #cultured