In 1975, psychologist Ed Tronick asked mothers to try something simple. Play with your baby normally, then hold a completely blank face for two minutes.
Most babies unraveled in under sixty seconds. They pointed, shrieked, reached out, and when nothing came back, they collapsed. It became one of the most replicated experiments in developmental psychology.
What it proved is something parents feel but rarely name. A kid's play is a question. It only becomes joy when someone answers.
John Gottman later put numbers on the grown-up version. His lab tracked how often people responded to their partner's small bids for attention across years of marriages. Couples who lasted answered 86% of the time. Couples who divorced answered 33%.
The bids always look trivial. A joke, a "watch this," a ridiculous dance by the front door. Answering one takes about six seconds.
Kids remember almost nothing specific from age five. What sticks is the pattern of what happened every time they reached out. This dad just made a deposit that compounds for decades.