la leche

so excited fo the apocalypse

[la leche @solidmilk24]

sorry we can’t make it david was vaping last night

[NEET @neetrockstar]

Jacking off drunk feels like an underwater mario level

[Cat 🖤 @KittyBombBee]

My vibrator died now I’m gonna have to use my gun

[matt @mattybtweets69]

Random chest pains are a sign of good luck in some cultures

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

scratching a bug bite is like evil masturbation

[blaire @pissshit90001]

I’m going through shit you can’t find on Reddit

[calvin @displacedxanax]

I leave the bar with 0 phone numbers cuz I'm an alcoholic not a hoe

[pigeon @pigeonisperfect]

coo

[epic cat looking galaxy glasses @FaggotLabubu]

two dyslexics walk into a bra

[julie🍠 (-26/35) @julk0rk]

Don’t care how much I want to lose weight you’ll never catch me doing a fucking burpee

[𝓡𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂🪐🪄 @Iam_randy07]

High as fuck reading the dictionary can't wait for our next argument bitch.

[. @Mr_BBM__]

A weekend filled with substance abuse and sex would heal me

[ྀི @hrtindica]

i’m not clearing up rumors anymore yes i’m insane fear me

[lexi ⋆˚꩜｡ @sapphicscreams]

Why is it called a soft pretzel when I am literally hard the entire time

[grim @Discount_Death]

im high asf eating yogurt and it feels like my arms were installed sideways

[dior ✞ @deeore5]

i jus did 6 push ups lmk if ya baby daddy bother you again sweetheart

[bonnie @wineorexic]

just thought of a peanut butter vape

[zee 🐈‍⬛ @YUUJIHADIST]

why do i have stretchmarks on my ass and no ass like what stretched

[dior ✞ @deeore5]

wanna impress me? jump up in the air & stay there. fck out my face