EverythingPasta

Analyzing the world’s chaos, one greentext at a time.
Geopolitics - History - Tech - Dark Truths
—be you
—read this
— ?
—profit

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

>be me
>current year, the world is a dumpster fire
>information overload making everyone’s brain smooth

>mainstream media: "here's 40 pages of jargon you won't read"
>X gurus: "here's 10 threads on why you should wake up at 4am"
>mfw can't actually understand what’s happening

>people always ask "anon, what's the deal with [topic]?"
>they start seething when I reply
>decide to make reality delicious and digestible
>just like mom’s spaghetti
>take the most complex, boring, or controversial garbage
>filter out the noise
>repackage into high-octane greentexts
>explain like you’re 5 (but based)

>are you not entertained.jpg

Follow for a daily plate or don't, I'm just here for the pasta

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@amberroadsonx @Europeanbeauty_ >not goth
>not from sweden
>not even real, just AI

Its all so tiresome

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@zen_browser @fen4flo Hi guys! Really want to try your browser but It's been impossible to download extensions. The extensions website simply won't load on Zen. It loads on every other browser but Zen refuses to load https://t.co/Nebrqfoatn on my mac. Any ideas?

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@therealbuni >el boxeador pesa 87kg
>el luchador de sumo pesa 145Kg
>lo revienta contra la pared y se le echa encima
>komo lo hizo :O

Esto nos hace recordar por qué todos los deportes de combate tienen categorías de peso.

[Fiachra (Fiki) 马骏 @FiachraRM]

Be Mark Zuckerberg:

> learn Mandarin
> give speeches in Mandarin in China
> put Xi Jinping’s book on your desk
> get employees to read Xi Jinping’s book
> ask Xi Jinping to name your baby
> get rejected
> host Chinese internet officials at Facebook
> try to bring Facebook back to China
> get rejected
> explore China-friendly censorship tools
> get rejected
> quietly test a China-only app
> get rejected
> buy an AI company with Chinese roots
> get rejected by China again

[Mushtaq Bilal, PhD @MushtaqBilalPhD]

> be Pergamon Press (and make academic publishing the most evil industry ever to exist)
> be founded as Butterworth-Springer in 1948
> get bought in 1951 by Robert Maxwell, father of Ghislane Maxwell
> rename it Pergamon Press
> push out Paul Rosbaud, your co-founder, in 1956
> notice scientists need to publish to keep their jobs
> notice the libraries have to subcscribe whatever you charge
> notice the academics will write the papers for free
> notice the peer reviewers will work for free
> notice the editors will work for free
> launch a journal
> launch another journal
> launch yet another journal
> call them all "International Journal of [X]"
> raise the prices
> raise the prices again
> introduce the biggest rent-seeking business model in history
> grow from 6 serials in 1948 to 59 journals by 1960
> keep launching new ones every year
> get the Queen's Award for Enterprise in 1966
> get investigated by the UK Departmnt of Trade and Industry
> get described as "not a person who can be relied on"
> get ejected from the board in 1969
> borrow money and buy the company back in 1974
> sell Pergamon to Elsevier for £440 million in March 1991
> die falling off your yacht eight months later
> get discovered to have looted hundreds of millions from your employees' pension funds
> watch Elsevier inherit the journals
> watch Elsevier inherit the prices
> watch every research library on earth keep paying exhorbitant prices
> watch Sci-Hub get sued for distributing the same papers for free

[Mushtaq Bilal, PhD @MushtaqBilalPhD]

> be Alexandra Elbakyan
> be born in Kazakhstan in 1988
> start coding at 12
> hack your internet provider at 14
> hack MIT Press at 16 to download neuroscience books you can't afford
> get a CS degree from Satbayev University
> intern in neuroscience at Georgia Tech
> speak at Harvard on brain-computer interfaces
> notice researchers can't read the papers they need
> notice academic publishers charging $30 a paper
> notice peer reviewers worked for free
> notice editors worked for free
> notice universities funded the research with billions of dollars of public money
> build Sci-Hub in 2011
> upload nearly every paywalled research paper ever published
> give it away for free
> get sued by Elsevier
> get hit with a $15 million judgment
> don't give a flying f*ck
> keep Sci-Hub up
> get domain after domain seized
> register a new one
> keep Sci-Hub up
> get investigated by the US Department of Justice
> don't give a flying f*ck
> get accused of working for Russian intelligence
> don't give a flying f*ck
> have the FBI subpoena your iCloud
> get named one of Nature's ten people who mattered in science
> get a parasitoid wasp named after you
> get a deep-sea snail named after you
> get the Electronic Frontier Foundation Award for Access to Scientific Knowledge
> become a legend

[Ambar @Ambar_SIFF_MRA]

>be Corbie Walpole
>hears male friend make a joke about "women staying in the kitchen"
>this was part of their regular banter
>but this time gets triggered like a rabid feminist
>grab 5 litres of petrol, lights up the guy while he's screaming
>he suffers 55% third-degree burns
>ends up in coma
>needs 10+ surgeries
>almost dies
>can't regulate his body temperature because his sweat glands burned off
>she gets arrested
>claims "he pushed my buttons"
>court gives her 7.5 years
>still not happy
>now appealing sentence because SHE has PTSD from setting a man on fire over a joke
>claims injuries didn't happen because of her setting him on fire, they were earlier injuries

Accountability is kryptonite for feminists

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@aciprensa >no existe una religión que odie mas profundamente a Jesús que esta
>le entregan tierra santa y los templos a aquellos que mas los detestan
>estos impiden que ocurra el culto a Jesús

SurprisedPikachuFace.jpg

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@iamyesyouareno Treason. Everyone involved should be in jail.

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@_KingHelsing @ToIkienverse Pero sí afecta. Fíjate que ahora todos los protagonistas no dudan de Snape, dudan del único profe Negro. No le dan el puesto de defensa contra las artes oscuras al profe negro. James Potter le hace bullying al compañero negro.
Incorporaron el componente racial a drede.

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@MmmMmmm29715 @ToIkienverse Ellos incluyen el componente racial en el casting y ahora culpan a la audiencia por darse cuenta?
Ahora los protagonistas no dudan de Snape; dudan del único profe negro. James no le hace bullying a Snape sino a un compañero negro. Cambia por completo la óptica.
Fueron ellos.

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@GuntherEagleman She shoud share the sentence with the felon. Whatever the felon was going to get but she waived + whateber he gets now. That's what she should serve.

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@TRobinsonNewEra The murderous migrants aren't the issue. The judges that keep letting get away with it are the real issue. 6 years? How does one even arrive at such a ridiculous sentence after what he did?

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@libsoftiktok Judges that intentionally ignore the law to avoid giving the right sentences should be co-responsible for the crimes commited by those they let loose. Whatever sentence awaits the felon, she should get the same.

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@laderechadiario >Hacen imposible trabajar con mujeres
>tan imposible que si hablas en el momento equivocado te meten preso
>de repente los hombres dejan de contratar mujeres por temor
>evitan incluirlas en equipos
>hay menos mujeres en lugares de trabajo

Otra victoria del feminismo.

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@Tendencias_Argy -En su juventud odiaba a los sangre-sucia, los no magos y las "razas inferiores"
-A pesar de que él mismo era un sangresucia.
-Seguía al señor Tenebroso
-Luego cambió de parecer.
-Se disculpó por sus errores.

El nuevo Snape es literalmente Kanye West.

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@Argenpoirot >Le dicen gorda
>Trata de comerse la moto

Poesía

[Om @Om_Codes_]

- Meet Gottfrid Svartholm
- Co-founder of The Pirate Bay
- A man who believed information should be free.
- helped create the largest torrent site in the world
- Handles millions of users
- openly mocked powerful corporations
- joked about moving servers to North Korea ,space ... just for fun 😭

- Servers were seized and site went down
- came back in 3 days
- kept changing domain constantly
- treated lawsuits like free marketing 😭
- traffic actually spiked after raids

- created loopholes and confused courts for years
- once tried to buy a country, Sealand, a micronation, to escape copyright laws
- designed server to be bulletproof
- Governments from multiple countries tried to shut it down permanently but failed
- inspire platforms like KickassTorrents and 1337x
- became one of the most blocked websites in history yet undefeated
- Even fans cloned the entire platform to keep it alive

He was playing a cat-and-mouse game with the entire internet…
And somehow, the mouse kept winning.

[EverythingPasta @Somethingpasta]

@Edgarpp28 @OrlvndoA Por qué lo dices?