SoniaSkywalker

Crazy dog lady

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

Pandora putting Patsy Cline on my Daft Punk radio station wasn't what I expected but I'm not complaining either.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

It was a cute idea in theory I'm sure, but I'm glad I drive a Toyota and that strangers aren't constantly placing bath toys on my vehicle. 🦆

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

I feel like we're really letting what should've been the centennial roaring 20's down majorly.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

Okay, so my theory is the dumb ending to Gossip Girl was all in Dan's beautiful misguided head and in reality he started working at the bookstore and turned his annoying obsession of Serena (bleh!) into Joe stalking Beck. And Love. Etc.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

I woke up stuck to the ZipRecruiter jingle. Apparently I'm job hunting in my dreams.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

I'm pushing 40 and can't roll out of bed without creaking knees yet every 4 years I still have a glimmer of hope I'll be a world champion figure skater one day.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

Can I give up paying my taxes for Lent?

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

You know what they say, happy foyer happy life.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

Why is sour cream the only thing we measure in dollops?

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

Am I the only one that thinks the Devil's fiddle performance was far superior to ol' Johnny?

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

I, for the first time in my life, ate two bananas in one day. Is too much potassium going to be a problem?

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

Are there young butlers?

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

Been at my job 3 years now and the only benefit I get is helping myself to a roll of paper towels from the stockroom roughly once a month or so.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

15 years is the amount of time it took me to think black hair dye was a good idea again. #MidlifeEmoCrisis

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

I think I thought Piano Man was Elton John this whole time. My apologies Billy.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

My love language is people asking me for advice on dog food brands.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

My guy door dashed us Starbucks from bed and I've never felt more spoiled in my life.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

You know what's even more annoying than having a hangnail?
Two hangnails.
One on each hand.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

Did I just pry open a bottle of Bombay Sapphire with a pair of pliers on a Wednesday afternoon? Yes, but I'd like to think that I'm just a weakling and/or it's a tough lid rather than I'm an alcoholic.

[SoniaSkywalker @SoniaSkywalker]

I like musicals except for the singing.