Sophy Tayler

Looking for new ideas, and great ways of making things happen. Worked at Guys & St Thomas/ Evelina/Essentia IT. Interests Camberwell. Views=my own

[Sophy Tayler @SophyTayler]

@Katie_Lam_MP @visitcamberwell Totally agree. Spend the funds relieving slavery that’s happening today instead. Retrospective action cannot be equitably apportioned and those good intentions need to be redirected to people who are today in immediate need

[Tom Jamieson @jamiesont]

Explaining to foreigners the winner of this contest gets to be Prime Minister

[A View From Yorkshire @models_by_Russ]

Dear Prime Minister & Home Secretary,

I hope this letter finds you well, fully caffeinated, and in possession of a calculator.

I’m writing with what I believe is a modest, fiscally responsible proposal. I understand the Government is offering up to £40,000 to certain individuals to voluntarily leave the United Kingdom. First of all — bold strategy. Nothing says “strong borders” quite like a cashback scheme.

Now, I regret to inform you that I am, in fact, a fully tax-paying, law-abiding British citizen. I know — awkward. I appreciate this may disqualify me from the premium exit package, but I’m willing to negotiate.

I would like to formally apply for £35,000 to leave.

You see, unlike some applicants, I haven’t broken any laws to get here. I didn’t arrive by dinghy. I didn’t require processing, housing, or legal appeals. I’ve actually been funding the whole operation through PAYE for years — which I believe makes me a loyal shareholder in this enterprise.

Given that you’re prepared to offer £40,000 for someone to depart voluntarily after entering illegally, I feel £35,000 for someone who’s been here legally all along represents excellent value for money. Think of it as a “Buy British, Get One Gone” discount.

For £35,000 I will:
   •   Leave quietly.
   •   Not require a press conference.
   •   Not demand a diversity officer to wave me off.
   •   Even carry my own suitcase to the airport.

I may also tweet a polite thank-you note on departure, praising the efficiency of the scheme.

Frankly, it feels like I’ve misunderstood how incentives work in modern Britain. All these years I thought obeying the law, paying taxes, and contributing to society were the winning strategy. Turns out the real pro-move is to arrive unlawfully and wait for a loyalty bonus.

Who knew?

While British families are juggling rent, energy bills, and the weekly food shop like contestants on a dystopian game show, it’s reassuring to know the Treasury has located a spare £40,000 per head for voluntary goodbyes.

May I ask — is there a points card? Ten years of National Insurance contributions and I get a free exit bonus? If so, I believe I’m overdue.

In the spirit of fairness and fiscal responsibility, I am not even asking for the full £40,000. I’m trimming £5,000 off to help balance the books. That’s the kind of responsible budgeting I was raised on.

If successful, I promise to:
   •   Leave via a scheduled flight (economy is fine).
   •   Not stage a protest on the runway.
   •   And refrain from re-entering on a small boat to see if I qualify twice.

All I ask is equal treatment. If departure is now a funded career pathway, I would very much like to submit my CV.

Yours in hopeful relocation,
A slightly confused taxpayer

[LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85]

A woman brings a very limp duck into a veterinarian’s office.

She lays the bird on the table. The vet listens to its chest with a stethoscope, pauses, then shakes his head.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “Your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The woman gasps. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” says the vet. “Your duck is dead.”

“How can you be so certain?” she demands. “You haven’t run any tests. What if he’s just in a coma?”

The vet sighs and leaves the room.

A few minutes later, he returns with a black Labrador. The dog stands on its hind legs, places its paws on the table, and sniffs the duck carefully from beak to tail. Then it looks at the vet sadly and shakes its head.

The vet nods and escorts the dog out.

Moments later, he comes back with a cat. The cat jumps onto the table, delicately sniffs the duck from head to foot, then sits back, shakes its head, and lets out a soft meow before strolling out.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$1500!?” she cried, “$1500 just to tell me my duck is dead!?”

The vet shrugged, “I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $50, but with the Lab report and the Cat scan, it's now $1500.”

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Math is beautiful: the Valentine’s day formula

[Sophy Tayler @SophyTayler]

@WallStreetApes Effectively HP printer and ink is like a closed system. Navigating the settings changes required is beyond many users. More honesty at point of sale: you are buying a printer that is designed to make you choose HP cartridges & we make it hard to use anything else

[Sophy Tayler @SophyTayler]

@ElonMuskNews47 A

[bluesharp @bluezharp]

Jools Holland & Dr. John🎹🎹'88. "The Boogie Woogie Twins"

[B&S @_B___S]

Dog meets Darth Vader for the first time

[Sophy Tayler @SophyTayler]

This is a new post, for draft about using buffer
I am going to choose linked in and x

[Sophy Tayler @SophyTayler]

#se5 #camberwell it’s Spring. Great #treepit

[Sophy Tayler @SophyTayler]

Be criminal to miss it !

[Anna Mazzola - is not here @Anna_Mazz]

On Monday evening, I'll be in a pub in Camberwell talking about my writing career and the historical crimes of South East London. Come and have a drink and a chat with me if you're in the area. @SE5Forum

https://t.co/FUtBZ3tuft

[Dan Neidle @DanNeidle]

This is the HQ of Avis Capital. It claims to be one of the largest companies in the UK, with £58bn in assets and 31% returns promised to investors.

Except it's all a lie.

Here's how regulatory failures are letting international fraudsters create massive fake UK companies.

[Sophy Tayler @SophyTayler]

Door located. Parcel was swiped. #gladwells to the rescue for Christmas Eve shopping

[Sophy Tayler @SophyTayler]

Yellow #Frontdoor. Do you recognise it? Please DM me My missing #parcel was wrongly delivered by #dpd should have come to my address in #SE5 #Camberwell . Should be somewhere fairly local

[💂🏻‍♀️👋🏻вєαя🍻🇬🇧™ @BigBearF1]

Just saw Father Christmas playing a round of golf, and he hit a birdie....

It was a partridge on a par 3.

[Sophy Tayler @SophyTayler]

@stbdulwich. Messy #church getting ready for #christmas

[Tom Tom of Camberwell @36ReasonsSE5]

Bit of an incident on Coldharbour Lane in Camberwell. Fire in a top floor flat. Hope everyone is ok. Fire Brigade seemed pretty relaxed when I went past.

[Inevitable West @Inevitablewest]

In Cornwall today.

Lest we forget.

[Sophy Tayler @SophyTayler]

#free community drawing event #se5forum #camberwell tulip tree Lucas gardens