Shake and Blake 🇺🇸🐗

Bingpot.

[Shake and Blake 🇺🇸🐗 @Sorrells_14]

On second thought I do like to brag, cause I'm mighty damn proud of that ragged ole flag 🇺🇸

[Shake and Blake 🇺🇸🐗 @Sorrells_14]

My Facebook is still being haunted by all the dumbass pages I liked as a kid.

[Shake and Blake 🇺🇸🐗 @Sorrells_14]

Sometimes I don’t appreciate the stillness of winter enough.

[Shake and Blake 🇺🇸🐗 @Sorrells_14]

Do people with dogs that bark all night just know how to tune them out or are they losing their minds too?

[Shake and Blake 🇺🇸🐗 @Sorrells_14]

Oh yeah I saw a millipede in the wild last week. Didn’t even know we had those here.

[Wiz Fajita @trillary_banks_]

My daughter acting a FOOL so when she ask me to check for monsters under the bed tonight I’m looking under there and running out the room screaming

[Shake and Blake 🇺🇸🐗 @Sorrells_14]

Nobody tells you one of the most irritating things about adulthood is updating the card on file of every subscription service when the old one expires.

[DOLLDADA @therachelrabbit]

your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that btw

[〽️onty @itsmontyj]

I'm such a " I love that for you" person. Because I love that good things happen to you and I hope it continues.

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

asking for permission before sharing someone's number is basic etiquette.

[Shake and Blake 🇺🇸🐗 @Sorrells_14]

Falling into a genuine sleep is too difficult, don’t take that from me 🤣

[𐕣🧛🏾 @doyenmxn]

If you think I’m a nice person wake me up from sleep for no reason and see something.

[Romy @Romy_Holland]

i once worked as a live-in nanny for 3 small kids in hawaii. the parents were burnt out and didn’t really like parenting. they had 2 nannies covering 7am-8pm 7 days a week. the dad worked a few hours a day and the mom didn’t work.

years later i saw the dad had started a blog about parenting and financial independence. in the blog he said that self-employment was important to him bc it allowed him to spend all of his time with his kids. he said that in over a decade of parenting, he’d never so much as hired a babysitter for his kids.

anyway, there’s a good chance ppl trying to sell you some lifestyle thing are lying thru their teeth.

[LAVISH @msalexandriae]

What a privilege to be tired from the work you prayed for. What a privilege to feel overwhelmed by growth you used to dream about. What a privilege to be challenged by a life you created on purpose. What a privilege to outgrow things you used to settle for.

[bae. @bahjarodriguez]

cause I literally KNEW better

[𝐑𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐧🫀🩻 MCR PHX @zoloftpurgatory]

“He’s mean to you because he likes you” is a horrible thing to tell little girls actually.

[zoë rose bryant @zoerosebryant]

everything i’ve learned about love island has been against my will

[Shake and Blake 🇺🇸🐗 @Sorrells_14]

I hate ads, but I’ll hate them less when ad technology can recognize when I’ve already purchased the product they want to sell me.