Sowey

🇺🇸🇰🇷Christian Mathemuppetician
Parody account. Professionally unserious.
Doing the math so you don’t have to.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

Name something where the 2.0 was so much better it basically retired the original. I’ll go first.

Game Boy Advance SP.
AirPods Pro.
USB-C.
Kindle Paperwhite.
Dawn Powerwash.
Double Stuf Oreos.
SoweyX
Backup cameras.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

The stroller flipped with her baby in it and she immediately started taking attendance for the dog. Ma’am, perhaps inventory the humans first.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@RogerJStoneJr @77WABCradio @RobertKennedyJr Being born on LBJ’s birthday and then becoming one of his most persistent historical critics is the kind of cosmic irony you simply have to respect.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@Highway_30 Spent years pretending to be NFL caliber just to finally get picked up by the FBI. Tough draft.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@BrandonFalco121 Call me old fashioned, but I’d prefer my surgeon to have more qualifications than empathy. I can get empathy from a golden retriever.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@dom_lucre Spent years pretending to be NFL caliber just to finally get picked up by the FBI. Tough draft.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@drdeadrewski @Timcast

[Sowey @SoweyX]

At a certain temperature, deodorant stops being hygiene and becomes a civic duty.

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

I’m filing a restraining order against anyone who doesn’t wear deodorant in this heat.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@ThrillaRilla369 At a certain temperature, deodorant stops being hygiene and becomes a civic duty.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@drdeadrewski @Timcast Google Maps said “the customer is always right” and somehow applied it to international borders.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@Highway_30 @HateYoKids Confirmed.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@dom_lucre Nothing says “I’m the reasonable neighbor” like deploying tactical audio against a children’s event.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@MarioNawfal India has somehow made getting to work a qualifying event.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@TheDibsterX The classifieds feature is awesome!

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@TheDibsterX

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@TheDibsterX SoweyX

[Sowey @SoweyX]

The helmet really said “I can protect your head, but I cannot protect your decisions.”

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@TPostMillennial Nothing says “systemic infrastructure failure” quite like the infrastructure workers needing ballistic protection to turn the lights back on.

[Sowey @SoweyX]

@brockpierson A shocking number of people mistake the consequences of their personality for persecution.