You Can’t Connect the Dots Moving Forward
A friend told me a story recently about a lawyer who never really practiced law. After school, she moved from one thing to another…policy work, community organizing, research. For a long time, it felt like nothing was adding up. No straight line. No clear direction. Just movement.
Years later, she found herself in a role that required her to sit between government officials, activists, and private companies, helping them reach difficult agreements. And only then did it begin to make sense. The law, the community work, the research and all the things that once felt scattered had quietly prepared her for that moment.
I have been thinking about that story.
Maybe life feels confusing because we are always too close to it. We want meaning while things are still unfolding. We want reassurance that where we are going is right. But most of the time, we are simply moving (learning things whose usefulness we do not yet understand, meeting people whose importance only becomes clear much later).
Understanding seems to arrive late.
You look back and realise that what felt like delay was preparation. What looked like distraction was actually formation. The dots were connecting, just not in a way you could see at the time.
Steve Jobs once said:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward.”
Perhaps that is why life asks for trust more than certainty. You do the work in front of you. You make the best decision you can with what you know. And over time, meaning reveals itself.
Life only makes sense backwards.
But it has to be lived forwards.
#YouWillNotFail
Stay close to people who do not need you to perform or explain yourself. Where you can be uncertain, tired, or unfinished without losing worth. That space is where clarity regenerates.
I have seen it play out before. Many people struggle to see the value in intangible assets like strategy, access, and advisory because they don’t come with physical deliverables. But those who understand how information and connections move industries know that these are some of the most valuable services in the world.
In the Western world, companies and individuals willingly pay top dollar for consulting because they recognize that one key insight, one strategic connection, or one well-placed piece of advice can change the entire trajectory of their business. That’s why consulting firms dominate global rankings in terms of revenue per employee - their value isn’t in what they build but in what they know and who they know.
Building a LEGACY is the REAL benefit for a man to get married.
For this to happen, you CANNOT compromise on any of the following.
1) Marry a woman who is 100% LOYAL. You MUST FULLY understand what LOYALTY means to NOT learn a terrible lesson later in life.
2) Marry a woman you are confident in raising your children with YOUR VALUES. As such, she MUST agree with your values for this to happen.
3) Marry a woman who KNOWS that she is a COO, you are the CEO, and children are the PRODUCTS of your marriage. Not the woman who thinks you are partners and the children are her friends and tools to be weaponized against you in the future. If you compromise on this, when conflict happens, THERE WILL BE POWER STRUGGLES, which can be confusing for your children. When there is confusion, THEY WILL FOLLOW AND ALMOST ALWAYS AGREE WITH THEIR MOTHER. Hence, you WILL end up ALONE after laboring all your life for them.
4) Marry a woman who CALLS you FIRST for anything she needs in her life (leadership, guidance, support, etc)
5) Marry a woman who knows that when her father calls and you call her, she MUST respond to you first. Otherwise, she will prioritize her EXTEND family over her NUCLEAR family. This should tell you that a woman who prioritizes a religious leader over you is a no-go area as well.
6) I can keep counting, but the above provides enough for you to get the gist of it. In summary, MARRY A WOMAN WHO SERVES YOU MORE THAN YOU SERVE HER, or at the VERY LEAST, SERVES YOU AS MUCH AS YOU SERVE HER. Anything less than this is a life with future regrets🚶
Me: mutes account because account tweets rubbish.
Twitter: “ this post is from an account you muted.
Me: clicks view post
Also me: mstchew, na why I mute you.