Sponge Bob

| Parody Account | Not Affiliated With The Real Sponge Bob | Only Here To Make You Gurgle...

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

There's always that one person in gym class who thinks they're in the Olympics.

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

May your life one day be as awesome as you pretend it is on Twitter

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Laughing at your own joke so hard that you can barely tell it.

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

My biggest fear is to look out my window at night and see someone staring back in at me.

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

That awkward moment when someone yells at you for clicking a pen but you have to click it one more time to use it.

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Saying "never mind" because you're to lazy to repeat yourself.

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Less friends, less bullshit.

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

*Missed a call* *Calls back* *No answer* "What, did you die within 3 seconds?"

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

I'm so happy people can't hear what I'm thinking

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about global warming, Karma is a bitch, Sincerely, The Titanic!

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Spongebob: Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse! Patrick: Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Spongebob: 'What do you usually do when I'm gone? Patrick: waiting for you to come back.'

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

'Gary, I'm absorbing his blows like I'm made of some sort of spongy material'

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Spongebob: guess what day today is? Patrick: annoy squidward day? Spongebob: no silly! thats on the 15!

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Don't you think Facebook should change the status question from"What's on your mind?" to"What's your problem today?"

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Without school, its hard to remember what day it is.

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Spongebob: "What do you usually do when I'm gone?" Patrick: "Wait for you to come back."

[Sponge Bob @SpongeBobPlanet]

Dear phone, I drop you. I say I hate you. I throw you. I lose you. I forget about you but I can't live without you. Sincerely, Me