Jee

I make 💐happen

[The DC MD VA Live @TheDMVLive]

A *13 YEAR-OLD BOY* has been arrested for a shooting near the Takoma Metro Station in Takoma Park, Maryland during the evening rush hour yesterday.

Two cars were found struck by gunfire on the 7100 block of Cedar Ave. No injuries were reported. FBI & feds assisted. #MoCo

[NEWS FROM THE CONCRETE @NFTC_News]

INVESTIGATION AT TAKOMA METRO STATION FOR POSSIBLE ARMED PERSON: @MetroTransitPD responded to the station for a possible armed person. This investigation caused delays on the Red Line. Unknown at the moment if a person was located on the train with a weapon. #newsfromtheconcrete #publicsafety @alanhenney @broadcastben_ @AllisonPapson @RSprouseNews @EmmaUber7 @Wid_Lyman

[DC Police Department @DCPoliceDept]

The Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) is searching for two puppies that were taken in a burglary that occurred in Southeast.

Read more: https://t.co/iOikvE3iEJ

[The Baltimore Sun @baltimoresun]

A moment for mankind, and a Maryland native behind it all.

With the moon now filling their windows, the Artemis II astronauts kicked off their lunar flyby Monday, taking in magnificent views of the far side never before witnessed while setting a new distance record for humanity. Less than an hour before kicking off the fly-around and intense lunar observations, the four astronauts surpassed the distance record of 248,655 miles (400,171 kilometers) set by Apollo 13 in April 1970.

Moments after breaking Apollo 13’s record, the astronauts asked permission to name two fresh lunar craters already observed. They proposed Integrity, their capsule’s name, and Carroll in honor of commander Reid Wiseman’s late wife who died of cancer in 2020. Wiseman wept as Hansen put in the request to Mission Control, and all four astronauts embraced in tears.

🎥: Associated Press

[World News Tonight @ABCWorldNews]

On Opening Day, ABC producer Myra Green escorted her 109-year-old father, who is also a WWII and Korean War veteran, to throw out the first pitch for his favorite team, the Baltimore Orioles. @DavidMuir shares the memorable moments from across the league. https://t.co/GWxCw01JiZ

[Jee @SpooksEasy]

@NFTC_News Bob was my friend’s father. This is such a kick while down message. All we have is this one life, Trump has wasted it. It’s sad but not surprising he’s slandering those who were competent . #bigpussy

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

Alison Luchs, who has worked at the National Gallery of Art for 47 years, agreed to learn Gen Z slang and make videos because she wanted to raise interest in the museum’s art.

She never expected to slay. https://t.co/BsOhypLSh5

[Morbid Knowledge @MorbidKnowledge]

In Split, James McAvoy brilliantly portrayed Kevin Wendell Crumb and his 23 distinct personalities, even continuing to film for days after breaking his hand, its swelling visible on screen.

[Jee @SpooksEasy]

@VerizonNews @VerizonSupport Completely bricked from 11am-11pm. Couldn’t get my boarding pass, a ride share or cab. Couldn’t make ANY business transactions during a ONE DAY trip���.bc it was on the day you guys decided to not be reliable. I need something to make up for this. I’m listening…

[MAGA Cult Slayer @MAGACult2]

A 🩷 LETTER FROM SOMEONE THAT GREW UP WITH GREGORY BOVINO: TO THE MAN VOTED MOST LIKELY TO SHIT HIS PANTS IN PUBLIC

Read every single word of this. If Greg comes to your house, you're locked and loaded...with this verbal ammo.

MINNEAPOLIS REDDIT POSTER: I found out last night that I know Greg Bovino’s family personally. We grew up in the same town and went to the same High School and college.

Now I’m a Minneapolis resident but I didn’t always live in Minneapolis. Once, long ago I lived in a quiet little mountain town of Boone, NC. Guess who else grew up there? A pathetic squat little toad named Gregory Bovino. Well, that squat little toad grew up to be a squat little Nazi toad who has decided to come to my beautiful adopted home to torture, murder, and terrorize my friends and neighbors. He is personally going door to door, so if you see him, here’s a few very specific things from home you can politely yell at him:

“Hey Greg! Remember how your Dad murdered a woman in Blowing Rock while driving drunk? Like father like son I guess.”

“Hey Greg! You’re the reason your dad got drunk and killed that woman in Blowing Rock which lead to your parents divorce. I guess that means you’re the reason they got divorced.”

In case anyone is wondering, the woman his father killed was named Janie Mae Mitchell. I’m sure he’ll remember the name if you want to yell that to him.

His father used to run a bar called the library club. After his DUI he had to sell the bar and it hit the family pretty deep. Greg is sure to be sensitive about it if you want to name drop the Library Club bar.

“Hey Greg! Do you think it’s weird that the Watauga High yearbook has you listed as “Most Likely to Shit His Pants in Public?”

“Hey Greg, your history teacher ‘G.I. Jones’ thinks you’re a pathetic Nazi punk. No wonder you failed all his classes.”

“Hey Greg! Did you know your mom is a register Democrat? Does that make Thanksgiving awkward?”

“Hey Greg! Remember when the Mast Store banned your for sniffing shoes after people tried them on?”

“Hey Greg! Do you remember eating the Watauga Pioneers wrestling team’s soggy biscuit? Is it still gay to eat to eat semen off a Bojangles biscuit or was that just an 80s thing?”

“Hey Greg! Watauga High still thinks you’re a loser!”

“Hey Greg! Boone, NC fucking hates you.”

“Hey Greg! Remember when you fell into the porta-John at the Valle Country Fair and they couldn’t find you for hours and people just came in and kept shitting on you and shitting on you?”

“Hey Greg, remember when Mr. Combs found you jerking off to Nat Geo magazines in the high school bathroom?”

“Hey Greg remember swimming at Trash Can falls and your swim suit fell off and all the girls laughed at your micro penis? Watauga High still remembers.”

Just name dropping a lot of stuff from Watauga County / Boone / Blowing Rock, NC aught to get under his skin.

EDIT: it’d be a real shame is #GregBovino #SoggyBiscuit started trending

EDIT 2: while I’m usually opposed to AI on ethical grounds I figure there’s no point being ethical with Nazis. Anyone had the skills to generate images of Greg Bovino enjoying Bojangles cinnamon biscuits dripping in icing?

EDIT 3: Watauga is pronounced “Wah-Tah-Guh” we were sometimes jokingly called “Wata-ooga” by rival schools

[Metrorail Info @Metrorailinfo]

UPDATE: Red Line: Trains are single tracking between Silver Spring and Takoma because of a trespasser struck by a train at Takoma. Customers will continue to experience delays in both directions. Some trains will offload at strategic locations to minimize train traffic.

[Jee @SpooksEasy]

@IGN TODD FOCUS…Elder Scrolls 6….ELDER SCROLLS 6 TODD!

[PoPville @PoPville]

District Wellness Center, Medical Cannabis Retailer, coming to old Bub and Pop’s space on M Street: https://t.co/7qPeQ410sw

[AlphaFox @alphafox]

Soon no one will even know how to talk to another human in person...

[Piyush Mittal 🇺🇸🇺🇦🟧🌊🌈 @piyushmittal]

Portland frog scares Trump goons into submission

[PoPville @PoPville]

“WTAF: 9/11 ‘truthers’ at Quaker Meeting House” https://t.co/9iV55H965C

[Wes Moore @iamwesmoore]

President Bone Spurs will do anything to get out of walking – even if that means spouting off more lies about the progress we’re making on public safety in Maryland.

Hey Donald, we can get you a golf cart if that makes things easier. Just let my team know.

[Peter Baker @peterbakernyt]

The @washingtonpost tracked where Trump's forces are patrolling in Washington. Spoiler alert: They're not where the crime is.

[Anthony Pompliano 🌪 @APompliano]

Hard truth.

[Therealkillmoenews @killmoenewsdc]

Today, the United States experienced three shootings that resulted in ten or more fatalities, injuries, or both.

* Atlanta, Georgia: One individual succumbed to their injuries, while ten others sustained injuries.

* Reno, Nevada Resort: Three individuals lost their lives, while eight others sustained injuries.

* Manhattan, New York Office Building: Five individuals perished, while five others sustained injuries.