Drop that goal that you can make public …..
“ I want to impact 1m persons on all social media handles, currently over 200K + “
I will quote this when ever it becomes true.
Tell me a public goal and quote it when it happens.
Let’s go !
I used to be very 'embarrassed' to acknowledge how sexual compatibility ranked on my tick list.
That spell ended some years ago.
It is important that incoming calls from my partner generates erection - that's my current barest minimum for sexual compatibility.
I get money for anything you wanna eat and drink when you come over
I get money for taking US out to places I wanna see as well
I get money for affording soft lifestyle for myself( you can tag)
I no get money for wigs, to change your phone or your family issue, or back to back craving or clubbing for Snapchat aesthetics!!
About 4 days ago, I watched a YT video that talked about how we came about the term 'colour temperature' and by extension, why warmer-coloured lights (2800 to 3000K) is more relaxing and comfortable, while cooler light (white-ish light) is more stimulating, and suited to work, play and activity, broadly speaking.
Found it particular interesting as I've always prefered incandescent lighting indoors, especially at night because its more conducive to rest, signals sleep time and creates a more intimate ambience for when I have female guests
That video gave scientific backing to my night time preference for warm light (the science always meets me in front, eh?)
Now, maybe because of how excited I was about that discovery, I felt a strong urge to share it with my girl who had just walked into the living room as the video was ending - but caught myself mid-thought, self-reminded she would not share my enthusiasm because I know from experience, such things do not interest her.
So rather than expend my exuberence on an audience that would not share my fascination, I relocated to my desk and rerouted that energy into a deeply rewarding epistemic exercise on the subject.
Moral of the story:
While we all have impulses to share stories, interests or random bits of knowledge with those we love, and expect them to share our interests, it is socially unintelligent to forget that they are separate individuals with minds of their own. They have different interests, different curiosities, different levels of intelligence, different mental landscapes and basically, different things that capture their attention.
To expect that whatever interests us must interest them, or that whatever excites us must excite them, is a textbook case of self-absorption and a consequent inability to map their psychology.
It evinces an inability to fully appreciate separateness and the 'other-ness' of others.
Affection, love, marriage and whatever, does not undo individuality.
So the reason he 'doesn't receive the information in the first place' may very well be that the subject matter does not interest him. But because he is your husband, rather than communicate that lack of interest, he pretends to listen so as not to hurt your feelings.
Which then begs the question: how long will he continue to pretend? And at what point does it become unfair to expect that he shows interest in whatever story you have to share at whatever time - irrespective of his state of mind or individuality?
Okay... I guess that's two questions but you get the point
A better response, then (one which I use and have found to be remarkably effective) would be to (nonverbally) communicate his disinterest in such, as I like to call them, low level gists so that you gradually learn to stop bringing them to him
Or at least, consider whether the subject matter is one that is likely to interest him before sharing. Rather than sharing simply because it interests you.
So the problem is not inattention on his part. The problem is an inability on yours to recognise him as an independent center of exprerience, rather than an extension of yourself.
The issue, in simple terms, is your solipsism
one day, i’ll finally meet a girl that has sense.
told this babe i wanted to get a small setup to stream games. GTA6 is dropping soon, streaming it live will be a mad way to generate revenue and increase internet presence.
she said “no nau, why would you waste money because of game? gimme the money, lemme use it to buy this wig. it’ll fit me and you’ll be happy when you’re looking at me”
no sense, no ambition, no drive, nothing upstairs.
Do you know one thing many modern women do not know?
It is the fact that the only way a woman can ever be loved the way she wants to be loved is by being with a man much older than she is.
A woman is loved best by an older man. With older men, her eternal childlike nature is condoned, and her stupidity is frequently forgiven.
Because to older men, her insufferable nature is somewhat a function of age rather than a character flaw. Thus, she is held to a lesser standard in such an environment. She is “understood.”
Financial security may seem like the primary reason, but another factor contributing to women’s hypergamous nature is men’s differing perceptions of them with age.
That is, unlike men her age, who often lack the sensitivity, perhaps the patience, to see beyond curves and cannot separate age from body size, older men perceive more than just the exterior.
They look through the lens of behaviour and general disposition and see the youthful “innocence” in her, and treat her accordingly, as a child.
Women enjoy grace from older men more than from any other source.
Not nature, not even God, tolerates women more than older men.
Older men often view women as naive, overlooking their excesses.
Conversely, with men her age, she is held accountable for her actions, something many women find burdensome.
A 23-year-old man, considering himself mature enough to think independently, expects the same level of awareness and thoughtfulness from his female counterpart.
This high logical standard can be detrimental to a woman’s whimsical and emotional modus operandi.
However, to a 40-year-old man, a 25-year-old woman is not “old enough to think” independently.
It is not love. It is our design, as humans, to rarely consider those far younger than us old enough to ever be able to think and act like us, regardless of their age and our age difference.
So, a 40-year-old man anticipates certain behaviours, such as mood swings, tantrums, and histrionics, as part of the package of dating a younger woman.
This man, seeing himself as sufficiently mature, perceives his younger woman as not yet reasonable. Thus, he is gracious. He chastises little, criticises sparingly, and adapts to her psychological tendencies far better than men her age could.
This is literally how women want to be loved.
There is no safer place to be a woman than in an older man’s companionship.
Women know this. They want this. Those on social media expressing displeasure towards these arrangements are swines.
Women are not capable of truly loving men. They don't love men.
They form attachments based purely on hypergamous negotiations. As soon as the resources, protection, or status you provide begins to fade, or a better option appears, their so-called "love" evaporates and turns into resentment.
Women are naturally wired for extraction and trading up.
The data on divorce initiation proves this. Women file for divorce far more often in unhappy marriages, revealing that their attraction is strictly conditional. Unconditional love from women is a dangerous fairy tale.
Wake up.
Above all, love God.
When I'm with a woman the only reason I don't bother myself about other men hitting on her or trying to get her attention is because I know how harsh, rude, insultive and disrespectful a typical Nigerian woman can be to a man if he is bugging her and she is not interested in him or doesn't find him attractive.
Nigerian women I know won't even reply your chats sef.
For real life, she go use bad mouth finish you.
You go dey talk say that girl dey too rude but you no go know say na because of one man like that.
I swear to you.
So if any man is flirting or actually making progress in his advances with my woman, she's the one who allowed it to happen cos that's exactly what she wants.
It's as simple as that.
@baba_cave Had a girl that works at a bank, she wil enter toilet send me voice note & video. Sometimes she will call sef. 2times before closing hour.
All this I'm busy, na scope
Nothing at first, at least not visibly. Provided it’s consensual, everyone smiles. You get your money, he gets his release. The world moves on.
But nothing poisons slowly like what feels harmless in the beginning.
For the woman, the danger isn’t in the one-time act. It’s in the pattern. It’s in the normalization. It’s in how quickly the brain recalibrates to see the body as a tool for extraction.
You begin to skip the hard things—building, learning, failing, starting again—because why suffer when you can just offer? When you know that with a bit of perfume and clear skin and disarming smile, you can raise capital quicker than any grant application. You start to see money as a function of desirability, not capacity. And so, gradually, dangerously, your sense of value becomes outsourced to the gaze of men.
And you’ll think it’s power until one day, nobody looks anymore.
That’s the part no one tells you. That the sexual economy is a depleting currency. You start at your highest value, and it diminishes over time. Slowly at first, then with shocking speed. Your calls get fewer responses. The offers begin to thin. The men who once lined up now scroll past. And because your entire economic model was built on your desirability, you have no fallback, no structure, no self. Just silence.
But worse than the external silence is the internal rot; the erosion of self-worth that comes from years of reducing your sacredness to a transaction. You no longer feel beautiful unless someone pays to confirm it. You no longer feel wanted unless someone proves it with cash. You no longer feel valuable unless you are being consumed. You become a shelf product past its expiry date, watching younger girls replace you at the table you once ruled.
Now to the man. At first, it feels like luxury. Like abundance. Like control. Swipe, pay, collect. A new girl every week. And because the body is built for novelty, you begin to chase it like a man possessed. Not sex, novelty. New breasts. New moans. New lies.
But here’s what no one warns you about: the more you consume women this way, the harder it becomes to connect to them in any meaningful way. Intimacy becomes foreign. Love becomes fiction. You stop seeing women as partners and start seeing them as ports; places you dock in briefly, never to linger. Every woman becomes a suspect, a potential seller waiting to be bought. You lose the ability to believe in sincerity, because you’ve spent years paying for pleasure and watching women fake it like professionals.
And it gets worse.
Some of the women you paid? They were in relationships. Some were engaged. Some lied to their men with breathtaking skill. You saw it firsthand—how easily loyalty folds when money enters the room. And now, even if you find a good woman, you won’t believe it. Even if she’s clean, you’ll see stains. You’ll doubt her. You’ll test her. You’ll sabotage your own happiness because your heart has been trained in distrust. You’ll ruin every good thing before it blooms.
This is how transactional sex kills both parties: quietly, efficiently. The woman loses value in her own eyes and becomes unable to build herself outside of desirability. The man loses faith in women and becomes emotionally handicapped, unable to connect, only capable of conquest. Both end up in ruins, just different shapes of it.
And that’s why ancient traditions were militant about sex within marriage not because they were prudes or sexually repressed, but because they understood what we’re only now discovering: that sex is not neutral. It binds. It breaks. It builds or it destroys. And once it becomes a commodity, it corrodes everything—your trust, your joy, your future, your peace.
But you won’t see the destruction all at once. You’ll laugh. You’ll post. You’ll call people who say these things “moral police.” But time is a patient teacher. And if you keep trading sacred things for temporary pleasure, time will teach you too—slowly, painfully, and with no refund.
"The past doesn't matter"
God will take you the next day.
PS: it's not whether you are aware or ignorant of this if you are a new partner to a woman with such experience. The problem is that her ex has set a standard you're entirely clueless about and she expects you to meet that standard. If she tells you, you'll suspect her of rough sexual pasts that will damage your psyche and sear the relationship. So, she will keep quiet while her mind is elsewhere, wandering during sex and romance imagining weird fantasies with a man far deep in her memory. To you, she's the object of your desire; to her you're just useless because you're not what she craves for and you lack the capacity to first reach her depth, and secondly, satisfies that depth.
Contending with a woman's pasts is like David facing Goliath, only god can help you. Because that knowledge is a pandora box, once it's opened, your mind will struggle to deviate from it. That's why non-virgin women are scared and angered about being asked about their previous sexual experiences. They know that such information destroys the relationship no matter how religious and saintly they've become. No man wants to engage in such a sexual militaristic psychological battle.
There are many things as a man that can be beyond your choice or decisions. However, choosing your woman is fully within your right, capacity, and knowledge. You can't be deceived. Don't choose a damaged woman.