Ashley Sprague

Hufflepuff, super into stand up, owner of a fluffy standard poodle named Heimdall

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@NetflixIsAJoke Heimdall the Rescue Standard Poodle

[Shelby Kent-Stewart ™ @ShelbyKStewart]

@HBOMaxHelp @HlaoRoo Dear Intern: My first day on a job, I was in an elevator when a nice-looking man smiled and said, "Your face belongs on a cathedral."

Without missing a beat, I replied, "If comparing me to a gargoyle is the best pick-up line you've got, it needs work."

Yep, the CEO.

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@jameelajamil Lush has a lotion called Dream Cream that has honestly worked miracles. I went from hives and a swelled face to clear skin overnight. They have a shower wash of the same branding that works with it. So good I bought it even when I couldn't really afford it.

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

Expo markers are not true to the color on the marker and this needs to be addressed. #whatdotheythinkevergreenlookslike

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

#andamovie

[Ted Danson @TedDanson]

Please stay home and stay safe humans ❤️

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@jameelajamil THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@chrissyteigen Hi Chrissy, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You're not alone. I also have frequent nightmares. It's gotten a little better, EMDR therapy has helped, but I hope that it gets better for both of us. Also, thank you for sharing! I was feeling a little alone in this.

[BoJack Horseman @BoJackHorseman]

Has anyone tried making one of these with the main theme music?

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

Me trying to sleep after watching Don't F**k with Cats

[kiki @kearalorraine]

this is what the inside of my brain looks like today

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@andyEUx @NetflixIsAJoke @michelleisawolf If you had bloody tissue falling out of a hole, you'd joke about it a lot too

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@dog_rates @mulaney See what you've started?

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@MikeWardca @joerogan Lenny Bruce is definitely saluting you from the grave.

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@chrisdelia looks like Keanu Reeves after going through a war.

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@tanfrance is making the French Tuck an ICONIC fashion accent for our time. #tantuck #frenchtuck

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@nealbrennan Ultimately, the job of a parent is to raise their child(ren) to be independent adults. Teach them about birth control, consent, emotional readiness, and make yourself an available source for questions, discussions, venting, etc. They're going to do what they want, just be there.

[I’ve Pet That Dog @IvePetThatDog]

@elatticus That is the most adorable thing! Dog tetherball should be a real sport. 🐶🏆😂

[Ashley Sprague @Spragash001]

@nealbrennan Told my dad about this bit. Turned into a conversation about abortion and psychedelics. I think the real platform should be "Don't talk to your parents. About anything. Ever."