SriTweets

Actual quotes from the Sriram family. User discretion is advised.

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“I would look great bald. Hmmm. Not at first, but once my scalp got tan and freckly, I’d eat that up.”

- Lily, 19 years old, after seeing a man on tv with a terrible tupee.

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“Lily texts like a boy who is not interested in you.”

- Stella, 15 years old

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

Levi, 4 years old, offering people money.

“Levi, where are you getting all this money?”

Levi - “The Dollar Store.”

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“Going home is the best, isn’t it?”

-Levi, age 3

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“If you give people choices then they are not going to choose the right thing.”

- Amanda, no context needed

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“I’m officially in love with Calculus.”

- Lily, because she is a nerd

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“You don’t win girls over with your nipples. You win them with your heart.”

- Ellis, 19, giving advice to Levi, 3

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“I’ve always wanted to get broken up with and then get really committed to the gym.”

- Lily, age 16

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“I know the ocean like the back of my hand.”

- Stella, while watching The Meg on vacation

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“I never leave the house without honey.”

- Lily, age 16

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“I’m the good boyfriend, you know.”

- Amanda, referring to the work she puts into Ellis’s relationship with his girlfriend

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“You’re becoming someone I might like.”

Amanda, toward Ellis

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

Ellis: “Why are you folding a shirt on my head?”

Amanda: “Because I have nowhere else to do it.”

At the Jackson Lake Lodge in Grand Teton National Park (6 of us in 1 room).

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“I see the sunrise every morning...on my way TO HELL.”

– Ellis (because AP Bio starts real early)

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“I’ve trained my hair. I’ve trained my B.O.”

Lily, age 14

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“A rule of life to abide by: The more work I can make Daddy do, the better.”

Lily, age 14

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“Honestly, ducks are OP (overpowering). They can swim and fly and walk. Unfair.”

Lily Sriram, two days shy of turning 14

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“If I ever make a song, I want to die listening to that song.”

- Stella Sriram

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“If Dad makes you an offer, you always say yes, even if you don’t know what he’s offering.”

- Ellis

[SriTweets @SriTweets3]

“I always judge a book by its cover.”

- Stella