Jacob.

If you label me, you negate me

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

The true test of good cake is if you lick the knife after eating the freshly cut cake.

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

Sweet home Alabama ain't such a great song for black people when they realise it was below the mason Dixon line

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

When the makers of "I can't believe its not butter" eat butter do they think to themselves "I can't believe its not hydrogenated palm oil."

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

Can you edit my essay? Me: Can mediocrity judge mediocrity? hand that bad boy over.

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

Empires rise and fall, so does my penis when I watch that game of war commercial with Kate Upton

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

Someone made a twitter account under my email and named it douchebag. Whoever you are that's not a bad handle

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

Does blue waffle classify as food porn?

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

really need to go back to studying

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

big rips and bong tits is just a totally different description though

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

Big tits and bong rips
Now that's a description anyone can fall in love with

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

Took me a lot of courage to tweet that cause some of my Facebook posts have not been on fleek lately.

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

I love the feeling of someone questioning my sarcasm, replying with sarcasm at their question and then leaving them baffled and stupid.

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

Looking through old high school aquantances twitters and realizing you'll never get those wasted 30 seconds back.

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

i love hip hop but poems themselves are just so melodramatic. no wonder Sylvia Plath killed herself. Someone should have dropped her a beat

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

The one reason I don't want WW3 to happen is I can't live in a world where all the conspiracy theorists can say "we were right"

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

@ivaposh pussy

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

@ivaposh wheres your i.t. tweet i wanna flag that shit as offensive

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

@ivaposh actually the next lines are "salt and pepper and heavy d up in the limosine'

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

@ivaposh basic tweet

[Jacob. @SRJacob893]

@MyCatsBirthday i made a youtube video. its really dumb and um im not proud of it
https://t.co/nR5U5oywCg