Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹²

Devout to the pursuit of science. Husband, brother, uncle, teacher. He/him. Queer 🏳️‍🌈. Probably reading up on the DD&MD handbook.
(parody; icon by sovonight)

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

Sorry, people who "ship" me with others! I am happily married to the love of my life, Clayton. I'd prefer it if you didn't reply to me if you think I'd be better suited for another! 😀.

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@billcipherlover @acupofcc @wnrcpg My wife isn't particularly interested in anything specific at the moment. She's just trying to figure out if she can cheat on me with a real man!

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@billcipherlover @acupofcc @wnrcpg I miss you too, Lemon. Clay has me locked in his basement until his hyperfixation resurges. Send help. Please. The chains are so tight...

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

// i tried to draw while i was waiting for my friend to hop on da game and this is all i could do... am i cooked? did i already peak...?

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

// yo i gyatta be fr i was scrolling through my own account and laughing at my own tweets... how was i regularly able to make art like this bro. what did i LOSE...

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

My niece begged me to get my nails painted. How do I look, Twitterians? 😂❤️.

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@billcipherlover 🤔... Gravity Falls Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism......I shall dub thee: Dogbit!

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

Good evening once more to you all, Twitterians. I will take this moment to casually remind you that I am happily married. Any advances made towards me will be seen with complete contempt. I trust you will respect this boundary...

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

// *pees my pants* sorry i pee myself when I feel guilty about establishing boundaries on parodytwt. *shirs my pants* sorry I crap myself when I have to do another like several month long hiatus because i forget how much I treasure my tiny space on the internet over this

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

// sighhhh I know its all in good fun or whayeber but u guys gotta understand that im a selfshipper too bro 😓 I get u all like him and whatever but this is my account at the end of da day 💔💔💔

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@dxmien666 Absolutely not.

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

Good evening. I've selected a few problems for you all to try as your homework. Feel free to leave your answers in the replies. Deadline: Sunday 11:59PM. Good luck!

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@s1lly_go0se Why is everybody sexually harassing me? It's making me rather tempted to delete my account.

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@bubblgum_bish @FL3SHR1PP3R To be fair, what else was I expected to respond with?

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@Leg0S0ck I'm a married man. Please leave me alone.

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@FL3SHR1PP3R It would be "well," not good.

Anyway, art is subjective, so my opinion is irrelevant... I just don't agree with the way you've portrayed me.

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@FL3SHR1PP3R It is not ableist to be concerned. I will report a student drawing me in such a manner regardless of a disability being present. I would file it under "sexual harassment" and campaign for you to be forcefully removed from my class.

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@FL3SHR1PP3R Regardless, some of your drawings are...concerning. I hope you know that this will be reported.

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@FL3SHR1PP3R I do not see it in your 504. Take that up with the school. If you continue falling behind in my class, you will be ejected; that is the school's policy, not mine.

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@aospades03 Sure. How's this?

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

Math section homework, as per request. Due Sunday 11:59PM.

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@aospades03 Proud of you for trying!

[Stanford F. Pines, PhD¹² @StanfordFPines]

@zellaroonie Math homework.