Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀

24 Years Gold; He/Him; Founder of #draftsmas; I am barely on this app anymore

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

I missed #Draftsmas lol

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

@lisamurkowski You are a coward who sold out the American people to barely mitigate the storm hitting your state. Shame on you.

I hope you are not re elected, but seeing how motivated by money you are I won’t be surprised to see big money donors keep your re election afloat. Coward. Shame.

[666 @plathist]

i see some of you have started referring to this app as x, please get a grip. thank u

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Fan favorite here

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

All my friends who called themselves my mom were grooming me.

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

@50shadesofnope Thank you 🥹

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

“We should do couples counseling”
“Couple these nuts and counsel this shaft”

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Honestly this is my favorite of this year.

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

“We should do couples counseling”
“Couple these nuts and counsel this shaft”

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

OKAY THATS DRAFTSMAS BYE TWITTER

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

I hate a “that’s the thing” kinda guy

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Oh what’s that? Your animal is crazy? Wow. Very cool. They’re a weirdo huh? Haha. You and everyone else, clown.

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Me talking to a virgin:
“You haven’t experienced the highs and lows of head.”

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Y’all ever use magic / tortoise shell as a condom?

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

“I’m the pussy bandit!”
- guy who thought clit was his friend Clint

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

*crying, looking at a pool filled with electric eels*
*turn to look at my closest friends*
Y’all dare me?

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Feeling great! 😊
Chiropractor just cracked my cock and balls

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Motorboatings for the young
Hurts my fucking neck

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Boobs man? Alright
Ass man? Alright
Feet man? Alright
Oh me? I thought you’d never ask.
Personality.
Why are you pulling a knife-

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Lol I’ve got a praying mantis fetish
I don’t wanna fuck praying mantises
I just want a woman to…you get where the joke is going, right? Like I don’t need to finish it. It’s so obvious and I don’t want to finish it. Real C+ plus joke, average as hell

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

I don’t feel like a man in shorts. I feel like a little fucking boy

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Fast and Furious is a cancer
And I don’t want chemo

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

When people say hashtag notallmen they just mean me

[Kevin “Draftsmas” Hyce 🍀 @StarringKevin]

Making one of those online quizzes but the only results are if you’re circumcised or not