Stat Muse

Real NBA statistics. Parody Account.

[Nate Capalot @LeNooshii]

"Dad how was the Lakers 7-0 run in Game 1?"

[Nate Capalot @LeNooshii]

Lmaoo its bout to be some amazon prime shit😂

[Nate Capalot @LeNooshii]

Thomas Bryant
Alex Len
Christian Wood
Harry Giles
Christian Koloko
Jaxson Hayes
Mo Bamba
Deandre Jordan
Wenyen Gabriel
50 year old Marc Gasol and Dwight Howard.

We finally got a REAL center.

[Nate Capalot @LeNooshii]

Tony Parker pulled up Kai Cenats stream but didnt pull up to Pop’s retirement😭😭😭

[Nate Capalot @LeNooshii]

“We not coming to fuck around” - Shaq😂

Kenny let it fly right after too.😂

[Nate Capalot @LeNooshii]

Thibodeau should lose his job this offseason 10000%. You deadass just played Mitch that entire time? He couldnt close out or play D, hit a free throw, and was injured and you dont play KAT? Forcing Brunson to do EVERYTHING? there is no offense besides him.

Not to mention minute distrubition is absolutely horrendous. You played all these guys wayyyy more in every regular season game even in games you were up 30? Now you decide to ease the minutes on your star players?? This guy cant coach AT ALL. NOT ONE BIT. Cant believe what I just saw.

[Stat Muse @StarttMuse]

RT @LeNooshii: I think my great grandma makes more noise with ber vibrator than this lakers crowd

[Stat Muse @StarttMuse]

Dillon Brooks today:

6 points
3-21 FG
1-14 3PT
11 turnovers
-24

A peasant to a King.💩💩

[Stat Muse @StarttMuse]

The Sixers have agreed to a deal to trade James Harden to the Clippers for Paul George, Terrance Mann, Marcus Morris, three first-round picks, and two pick swaps, league sources tell ESPN.

Wow!

[Stat Muse @StarttMuse]

Kevin Durant today:

8 points
3-26 FG
1-14 3PT
6 turnovers
-24

💩💩

[Stat Muse @StarttMuse]

Free agent Center Christian Wood is finalizing a deal with the Los Angeles Lakers, sources tell @TheAthletic @Stadium.

@ShamsCharania

[Stat Muse @StarttMuse]

Free Agent Dillon Brooks has agreed to a one-year deal with the Los Angeles Lakers, sources tell ESPN.

@wojespn

😳

[Stat Muse @StarttMuse]

Dallas RFA Dwight Powell has agreed to a four-year, $37-plus million with the Mavericks, league sources tell The Vertical.

@ShamsCharania

Wow🤯

[Stat Muse @StarttMuse]

Free agent G Derrick Rose has agreed to a one-year, $2.1M deal to return to the Chicago Bulls, source tells ESPN.

The future Hall of Famer plans to retire at the end of the 2023-24 season.

@wojespn

What a run, the farewell tour everyone wanted🌹

[Stat Muse @StarttMuse]

Sources: Philadelphia has finalized a buyout with James Harden, clearing way for him to sign 2-year, $68M deal with the Los Angeles Lakers, league sources tell ESPN. Deal includes player option.

@wojespn

The Beard has landed in L.A.😳

[Stat Muse @StarttMuse]

BREAKING: Chicago Bulls’ G Lonzo Ball has been recovering at a pace that staff within the organization have “never seen before.” The former 2nd overall pick plans on getting some in game repetition starting on July 3rd in the Summer League.

Per @ShamsCharania

Wow. He’s back.🤯