Jake from State Farm

(Khakis) ... Parody...not associated with State Farm...

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

#iOS7

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

#ios7 is like that ugly girl that put on makeup. everyone thinks she's better but in all reality she's still the same girl, just with an ego

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

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Find and rate the hottest people on the planet with the new #hotornot app!

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

Like a good neighbor shut the fuck up

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

We all know a pervert named Michael

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're panicked over who's getting cut from the team.

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

if youre on an iphone

ㅤclick here for a magic trick

RT if it worked!

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

Kim Kardashian's baby is the whitest person to ever see her vagina

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

The only thing that can stop "The Unstoppable Adele" is Diabetes

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

"You've changed" ... No, I think the proper term is "I've stopped trying to please your ass."

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

When I play a fighting game, I press random buttons and hope for the best.

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

Teacher: Email

Kid: My Email ?

Teacher: Yes Your Email

Kid: Umm

Teacher: Well -___-

Kid: ._.

Kid : [email protected]

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

McDonalds should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong shit they gave you at the second window.

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

"You're cute when you're mad.'' ''Well, I'm about to get real fucking adorable.''

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

Best duos

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

Great idea

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

Me: Can I have $5?

Mom: What happened to the $5 I gave you in 2003?

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

@RwEmbly uhhhh khakis...

[Jake from State Farm @Statefarmerjake]

Follow your dreams