How do you know when to give up hope?
Use TRIAGE
There are three kinds of people:
1. The people who are gonna make it if you don't help them right away
2. The people who aren't gonna make it no matter what
3. The people who will only make it if you help them right away
The idea that vulnerability is weakness is a scar tissue that is left over by being exploited by sociopaths.
If you've been exploited then you're going to be afraid of vulnerability
but kids are inherently vulnerable so you're going to have to figure it out
When would it have been a better time for your kids to be born?
If they were born even 20 years ago they would have been born before peaceful parenting
Your kids are the luckiest kids in your entire 150,000 year brutal lineage
How to change people's minds:
Present someone's argument to them in a way that doesn't mock, doesn't charicature and doesn't strawman then they're going to listen
How to know when forgiveness is total BS:
If forgiveness is such a virtue surely you should be forgiven for not forgiving
If you talk about the abuse that you suffered as a child why do people get more upset with you for failing to forgive than they are with the actual abusers?
"The necessary conditions for the crucial braincircuits of pain relief, motivation, and actually love are the presence of non-stressed, emotionally available and nurturing parents and caregivers."
"What's actually behind addiction is human suffering.
The addiction is not the primary problem.
When you actually talk to anybody who's addicted to anything and ask them 'what does the addiction do for you?' they say 'It distracts me from my suffering'."