Stef K

I'm a freelance writer. I'm a jackass. Also, I can always think of a third thing when listing stuff.

[Stef K @StefieK]

I heard my first crush ever, @DevonESawa is in Winnipeg today. I had a Devon SaWALL when I was a kid! Yeah- a wall filled with pics of Devon Sawa that I cut from my Teen Beat and Teen People magazines. It’s just hitting me now how incredibly creepy that was.

[Stef K @StefieK]

Pour yourself a drink,
put on some lipstick
and pull yourself together.
#MondayMotivation #liztaylor

[Stef K @StefieK]

"Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, 'I'm not going to make it,' but you laugh inside-- remembering all the times you've felt that way." #MondayMotivation #Bukowski #mentalhealth #MentalHealthMatters

[Stef K @StefieK]

Quivering, moist pouch. #MakeMeCringeIn3Words

[Stef K @StefieK]

If you want to piss off your boyfriend, every so subtly refer to it only as Stanley's Cup from this moment forward. #stanleyscup #StanleyCup

[Stef K @StefieK]

Excuse me, you're standing on my ribs. #WrittenOnMyTombstone

[Stef K @StefieK]

If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul to lose. -Charles Bukowski #Bukowski #WednesdayWisdom

[Stef K @StefieK]

That summer I had to lay on the floor and pretend to be dead. Every day. #reallifecprdummy #dontmove #EMTexam #MyWorstSummerJob

[Stef K @StefieK]

New law in Texas requires women to bury medical waste after abortion. Cannot donate stem cells either. #fucktexas #abortionlaw #mybody

[Stef K @StefieK]

#ItsMyFaultThat I can't think of anything clever to tweet.

[Stef K @StefieK]

#nerd #dorks #art #vamps #wehavethesamemoustache

[Stef K @StefieK]

I think the most obvious reason #trump is not suitable to be president is that Donald Trump thinks Donald Trump is suitable to be president.

[Stef K @StefieK]

Maybe a hippopotamus is just a really cool opotamus. #mitchhedberg

[Stef K @StefieK]

Shaq's sex tape release has been blocked. I think I speak for every vagina ever when I say thanks for sparing us from months of nightmares.