Steph Gon

It ain't easy bein' wheezy

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

How to get free drinks: 🍻
Step 1: get mono
Step 2: ask to try someone’s drink
Step 3: tell them you have mono
Step 4: you now have a free drink

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

Has anyone checked on Howie Mandel lately?

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

@Zackhip333 Heard that’s a banger at mass. Grandmas love to here it pulling out of the church parking lot

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

@sydney_lukes I’m always saving your ass one way or another 😏

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

@alysanders @Zackhip333 @BBQschultz Both. Definitely don’t need an intervention for the amount of alcohol he consumes that’s for sure

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

@evanlankveldt “Put me down, put me down. I don’t want to come with. Ope it’s happening...”

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

Thank god for @BIGgloud23 for beating the bystander effect for us today

[Phil Jamesson @PhilJamesson]

the bystander effect was displayed when sean kingston asked us several times to call 911 because shorty was fire burning on the dance floor, and we all assumed someone else would do it

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

@evanlankveldt “Mom, come pick me up I’m scared. Ellie keeps trying to kiss me”

[relatable @byreIatable]

Jingle bells, lots of L, hit me with a sleigh

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

@Lauren_Ashauer *backs into car*
“It’s ok it’s just my moms” 😅

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

Last summer my mom ran out of the bar after me yelling “Steph, you can’t just get into a random guy’s golf cart just because he has a dog” as I drove away and I’m honestly not sure how I wasn’t abducted as a child 🙃

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

Why am I such a little bitch when it comes to taking liquid cough medicine but can take a shot of vodka without hesitation? 🙃

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

A coworker keeps trying to set me up with her son because she thinks “he needs a good girl who doesn’t drink or go out a lot.” How do I let her know that my friends and I are lowkey raging alcoholics? 🙃

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

@Zackhip333 Now you upgraded to can tabs...for the kids

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

@Caroline_Nel Yes 😂

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

I always thought of one of my professors as a cute grandpa and today he proved that by telling me he hopes I’ll be able to buy pants without holes once I graduate 😂👴🏼

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

@sydney_lukes It should just be a known fact that this will happen. “I know what you did honey”👀

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

@sydney_lukes Puberty hit me hard

[Steph Gon @Steph__Gon]

New motto: “👀 on the prize and that’s your alcohol not boys “ -@sydney_lukes