A Kenyan Obstetrician/Gynecologist , Dr Anne Kihara Beatrice has been inaugurated as the new President of The International Federation of Gynecology and Obstetrics (FIGO). She has previously served as the President of the Kenya Obstetrical Gynecological Society (KOGS) and the President of the African Federation of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (AFOG). Congratulations 🎉🎊
A petition to the National Dialogue Committee (NADCO) to consider the following:
1. All Married Men should be forced to wear yellow colours to distinguish them from those still in the dating scene. Married Luo men not in favour of this idea will have to wear red to signal the entry of danger every time they check into social places.
2. A penalty of Ksh500,000 should be slapped on any married man found to be browsing the Instagram pages of single women, in a manner likely to suggest that they support polygamy. A Moral Police Unit should be formed to enforce this policy with immediate effect.
3. All First Borns in Kenya to be included in the list of Endangered Species, and to be assigned round-the-clock armed protection like the rhinos of KWS. Anyone who fails to stand up when a First Born enters the room will be deemed to have broken the law, and will be liable for a penalty of walking barefoot around at the nearest public dumpsite for a minimum time of one hour.
4. All Last Borns in Kenya to be forced to walk around with a luminous tag pinned on their foreheads, as an advanced warning to anyone who may be tempted to assign them heavy duties at work and school.
5. All Last Borns seeking to run for public office should be summoned to a dark room to meet a giant cockroach on the wall to test their level of courage first.
6.. Anyone who scored a mean of A (Plain) during the time Dr Fred Matiang'i was Minister for Education, to be considered for unemployment benefits, including, but not limited to; a monthly girlfriend allowance under the Inua Jamii programme.
Ali Bongo shutdown the internet during elections so he could rig outside the watchful eye of the international community. The Gabon military has restored the same internet so that Bongo could use it to plead for his friends to make some noise. Wabebeee!
BREAKING NEWS: Manchester United finally succumbs to pressure from its fanbase and rebrands into a Church. The decision follows a petition asking them to stop masquerading as a football club and start judging sinners who play for the club.
We call this fish MKIZI in Swahili language. Very angry fish, don't like disturbances! Once you disturb it can jump into your fishing boat! For its behaviours, there's a saying in Swahili, "HASIRA YA MKIZI, FURAHA YA MVUVI"