Stephen Sabato

Happy to be on the food chain at all

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

To the toilets around the world that don't get the recognition they deserve: you're the true heroes of Christmas, thanks for your service 💩

[k8 @_hurrikate]

@StephenSabato I started to see how long it had been since you last tweeted but now I just can't stop...

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

@KateDuscher haha I don't know what's sadder, you going through my tweets or your inability to comprehend jokes #Iknowyouwerejokingtoo

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

@KateDuscher hahaha you're the one who took the photo and uploaded it! And yes, of course we could look more cooked #pingas

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

@KateDuscher as long as I can possibly bare you. So like, two more hours most likely

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

@KateDuscher it's good to be back, I've even prepared myself for you to annoy the shit out of me on every tweet I post #doyourworst

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

@KateDuscher it hurts a lot less when you come to terms with how terrible of a person you are...

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

Can't think of anything witty to say (so that makes the entire night then) to sign off so Merry Xmas everyone, see you in 12 months (maybs)

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

@emlucin @KateDuscher haha thank you guys, without you pretending to care I'd just be some weird guy in church on his phone the whole time..

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

Woah church is over already? Man, time really flies when you're solidifying your place in the seventh circle of hell #MidnighMassTweets3

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

To the people who are first to sit down or kneel after the priest is done priesting, do you think you're better than me? I will fight you.

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

Mum (on behalf of my nonna): "Is it okay to take Communion twice in one day?"
Nathan: "Nah too much Jesus is never good, you might OD."

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

Collection plate round one, or as I like to call it, the "how guilty do you feel about only going to church once a year you heathen" plate

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

That I die of heat stroke in this church before Mother Stef shoots me another of her infamous death stares. Lord hear us. #Lordhearourprayer

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

Couldn't we have a statue of Jesus behind the altar doing something nicer than being brutally murdered with some pieces of wood and nails?

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

Can Jesus' second coming be in like two minutes? And can he muster me up a Long Island Ice Tea, it is absolutely sweltering in this church

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

Actually that reminds me, if someone close to the altar is reading this, can you please snag me the psalm set list #MidnightMassTweets3

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

If you're singing along with the choir and you're under the age of sixty, you really need to evaluate your life #ohcomeletusadorehim

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

Haven't tweeted in months but I have a fondness for taking things way further than they ever needed to be #MidnightMassTweets3 #xmasmiracle

[Stephen Sabato @StephenSabato]

@escal8rr @miettaivy it's about fucking time, my birthday was 7 months ago! I'm free of Swinny, don't pull me back in (anything 4 Nikki tho)