Steph Oxford

Full time Mum, part time hair nut. What colour shall I be today? xxx

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering ~Steven Wright

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

A woman's heart is a deep ocean full of secrets ~Rose

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

#didyouknow A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2 by 3-1/2.

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

#didyouknow The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan". There was never a recorded Wendy before.

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction ~Steven Wright

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

#didyouknow Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? ~Steven Wright

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs ~Robin Williams

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

#didyouknow A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

"Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive."

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

A procrastinator's work is never done

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked for toy train schedules ~Steven Wright

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread #movietruth

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

If you act like someone you're not, pretty soon that's who you become

[Steph Oxford @StephOxford]

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?