Ororo Munroe

I'm a descendant of an ancient line of African priestesses...

[Ororo Munroe @Storminika]

@ThisIsBadd Anytime Badd...

[Ororo Munroe @Storminika]

@ThisIsBadd Maybe, but then you left Twitter on some deadbeat dad type steez

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

I don't know how but I'm pretty sure my wife just won an argument that we haven't even had yet.

[Ororo Munroe @Storminika]

I cannot take my kid to any birthday party that is better than his. We went to one today -- they had food.

[Ororo Munroe @Storminika]

@ThisIsBadd Aww, man. Thanks a lot...

[Ororo Munroe @Storminika]

@Gorgeousbskin Thanks Sister, I'm bragging like a guy who just fixed a doorknob... "drinks are on the house"

[Ororo Munroe @Storminika]

Thanks guys. That basketball would not allow be here when I want to -- not even on weekends... @seanscrap @octofussy

[Ororo Munroe @Storminika]

My newborn is about the size of a basketball. Yeah, I had to expel that basketball from my body via a very restricted passageway. I'm fine.

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

When you wake up Monday morning just remember that nobody gives a fuck about what you did over the weekend.

[Susan W @Maxine12333]

Normal People: A mythical tribe in the Amazon rainforest yet to be caught on video.

[Ororo Munroe @Storminika]

My Mom going through her past wedding pics like, "I dunno why I married your Dad." I'm like, "I do. See the ring bearer? That's ME."

[Bobcat McNichols @FKACornshucks]

I'm a big advocate of the 'You started it' method of defense in an argument.

[Ororo Munroe @Storminika]

"I promise to love, honor and cherish you -- for only two days a month."

-- Polygamy wedding vows

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

It's 2015, why is there no ice cream truck that sells breakfast food?

[Michèle @Boleyngirly]

The problem with special people is that everyone wants a piece of them.

[^ @Blanchenmanch]

By "dated" I mean slept with more then once.

[Vice_Queen @Vice_Queen]

B: We want to promote you But

M: ABT TIME! I'M THE BEST HERE!

B: Be less arrogant, more humble

M: Okay. I'm sorry for being the best here