Kevin

(he/him/his)

Trying to write something that my mom will find funnier than the Big Bang Theory.

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Whenever I really need to get things done I'll crack open a beer, put on a documentary, drink 10 more beers, watch every epic rap battle of history and fall asleep with all my clothes on

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

Two ships pass by one another on a dark and foggy night

Me gazing longingly towards the other ship: do you think there’s girls over there

Perilous Pete: I think I gots scurvy

Me: yup. I bet they’re curvy… (yelling) h-hello?

Voice from other ship: do ye have girls over there?

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Congrats on getting engaged and everything but what if I told you have I crush on you

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Undertime Slopper.

[Carly Strait @carlystrait]

Something is different about Kevin…

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Behind every corporate pride hashtag is a 23 year old trying her very best

[Kevin @StraDowg]

The number of worldwide COVID cases is steadily approaching the number of views on the Eminem - Til I Collapse x Real Steel fan made music video

[Kevin @StraDowg]

good to see @natevarrone made it big!

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Aron said "absolutely not"

[Kevin @StraDowg]

@kruegrrl @georgespatricks @georgespatricks absolutely incredible. Great trailer Pat!

[Kevin @StraDowg]

I hate the French!

April fools 😎

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Every time we are at Top Golf Chasten orders the wings for the booth and eats all of 'em. Starting to get sick of his BS!

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Goddammit dude Dr. Michael Morbius just asked to top me what do I do

[Kevin @StraDowg]

@kruegrrl you literally took this photo of me??? trying to slander me on your private account? very cringe m'lady!

[Kevin @StraDowg]

New Minions movie trailer dropped and I'm already dressed (as Kevin) and in line. Wife is so pissed 😈 sorry princess. Daddy will be home July 2nd 😎😤🙌

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Drippin out my damn mind 🤤😷

[Kevin @StraDowg]

So sorry to all my uncircumcised friends, but I'm different

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Just got an audition for the walking dead 😎😳 gonna show up dressed in a three piece suit sending emails and filing reports 🤣😈 Cus corporations are making us the real zombies 👀😏🧟‍♂️

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Ennio dropped 16 bars on this

[Kevin @StraDowg]

Just found out my therapist makes brutal therapy content on tiktok and its not even doing numbers my guy