stretch

PARODY 1st (not financial advice) | news/market commentary | g.d. med chem | m.s. finance | sell side options floor | vol trading here n there |

[stretch @StretchCapital]

Of course that’s your contention. You’re a first-year options equity trader.
You just finished Natenberg, think gamma scalping is a cheat code, and you’re tweeting IV/HV spreads like they’re scripture.
Right now, it’s all about Black-Scholes, “vega convexity,” “straddle flips,” you even printed out a Greeks cheat sheet and taped it to your monitor.
Next month, you’ll discover Taleb and start saying things like “vol is not risk” in casual conversation.
By fall, you’ll hit Sinclair, run an EOD vol surface scan, and convince yourself you’ve reverse-engineered the market maker’s book.
Next year, you’ll be in a Discord pump group at 3 a.m., pitching a biotech with no revenue but “post-earnings vol crush gamma” and calling it “asymmetric but theta-rich.”
You’ll use terms like “mispriced tail convexity” to describe a meme stock that hasn’t held a bid since the last VIX spike.
You haven’t even begun to suffer yet.
You haven’t held a 0DTE SPX strangle through a Fed pivot that crushed both sides and left you with negative theta burn.
You haven’t refreshed the NMS book at 9:30 a.m. during a 70 VIX print and seen “NO MARKET” flashing red while your P&L bleeds gamma.
You haven’t stared at a term structure so inverted you start dreaming in backwardation.
You think this is about Greeks.
It’s not.
It’s about pain tolerance.
Come back when you’ve rolled a calendar spread for five quarters, been assigned twice on a LEAP you sold for pennies, and still called it a win because the AI vol spread finally paid.
Then we’ll talk options equity.

[stretch @StretchCapital]

I’ve followed Nims for probably 10 years now. Caught wind of him somewhat early before he blew up on Netflix…Shook- not like I personally knew him but these kinds of deaths shake me. Dude lived spiritually, took life and ran with it, not the other way around. Seems unfair god and nature ended his time early. He was a positive light that will be hard matched. RIP to a stranger but a incredible inspiration.

[Minty of the Yard (chap/fella) @MintyoftheYard]

Do me a favour - open that bottle of whiskey or wine that you’ve been putting off opening - and drink one for nims

[stretch @StretchCapital]

PEOPLE ARE WAKING UP

[stretch @StretchCapital]

🤷🏼‍♂️

[stretch @StretchCapital]

Currently coiling btw

[stretch @StretchCapital]

yields look absolutely ready to launch

[stretch @StretchCapital]

@BradleyMartyn Bad take

[stretch @StretchCapital]

@johnsemley3000 Uneducated- read up a little

[stretch @StretchCapital]

@TMZ 🤡

[stretch @StretchCapital]

WHAT I VOTED FOR.

[stretch @StretchCapital]

@bennyjohnson Bro is going to GITMO… let him be a clown.

[stretch @StretchCapital]

I can’t fathom the look on liberals faces when over the next couple years they figure out why the fuck the US went to shit in the first place. It’s all about 2019. It’s been lights out military control since then, we are just now getting the recap. Enjoy the show

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

The truth.

https://t.co/nWMBrHOpHH 👀

[stretch @StretchCapital]

YES.

[stretch @StretchCapital]

@mellowjnr_ 9 so I can talk to fitty and stare at dem titties

[stretch @StretchCapital]

Next week will be the kill switch perhaps

[stretch @StretchCapital]

@sanandreafault The salesforce tower is oddly phalic

[stretch @StretchCapital]

@Ghostofcynthia @AOC Well said.

[Gina Milan @ginamilan_]

Any television network that refuses to air President Trump’s Address to the Nation in prime time tonight should be barred from the White House press pool and denied all future interviews with administration officials. Fair is fair.

[stretch @StretchCapital]

70 dollar IREN doesn’t even scrape full market cap utilization of the data centers and energy they have down the road. NVDA likes the company but to ur point sees no reason in outright owning it- why would they when they have so much cash, and more importantly time. They’d rather have a stake and see how it shakes out circa 5 years with competitors. But if IREN pulls away as top dog, NVDA has first dibs..

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Defending America's election integrity is paramount.