Ventery

Just a place for me to dump my brain thoughts I'd rather not have on my main profile

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

WELP! I decided to finally make an account to just talk about stuff so I don't drive people away from my main. That's what this is.

hi.

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

What if I were to just disappear? I feel like I'm going nowhere as far as streaming goes and falling far behind while losing what I used to value, so would anyone even really care? Honestly, I dunno. I kind of doubt it.

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

I feel way more fidgety and awkward off my meds as well as more emotionally frail, but I don't like how I feel on them either. Imma stay off solely to make some progress.

It's too late to change things, and I just hope I don't lose any close friends again. 🫠

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

I feel like I'm on my 'total failure' arc of mental health right now. It seems like I keep messing up, being terribly awkward, and making things unenjoyable and worse for everyone I interact with, and I'm getting that pit in my gut that I'm gonna lose them cause of it.

Yay 🙃

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

I want to vent to friends about feeling like I'm trash, but part of it stems from jealousy and that's so taboo to a lot of people.

It's just... seeing people doing similar things to me get big so much faster hurts. I honestly think I just suck.

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

Bad brain is here, and I'm starting to think I just kind of suck at streaming. I'm consistently at low viewership, people don't stay for long, others get more views with just streaming...

There's also chat engagement, but that's viewer based partially.

I just...suck, I guess.

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

I am really, REALLY not feeling good. Like, dumpster levels bad. Doesn't help that I have a headache that won't go away. May have to take a break for a while 😢

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

I feel so close to making a breakthrough in my life, but there's just SOMETHING that's keeping me from making progress.

I wish I had someone to just relax, comfort, guide, and gently push me through all this, cause I feel like on my own my head is a mess and I keep failing.

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

Okay yeah my new meds 100% were messing with my sleep. I subbed them with some of my older ones (I know I shouldn't but let me cook) and I instantly slept like 5 hours which I haven't done in a while.

I may have slept through my stream and my body feels weird, but it's progress!

[Ellery - Freedom Fighting Mechanic Vtuber 🔧🛠️ @ElleryTV]

🔧Hey ya'll, it's Ellery here making an appearance!🔧

I'm a Freedom Fighter turned mechanic after being injured, and decided to become a PNGTuber to pass the time✌️

I'll be playing whatever pops into this scattered brain of mine. Hope to see you all soon! ✊

#Vtuber #VtuberEN

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

I feel like I can only be awake like 6 hours before becoming tired. And of course its when its approaching stream time...

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

Ever make a decision on a major project that costs money and realize you may have made the wrong choice? Cause uh...I may be regretting a few things myself 😅

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

Man, I'm REALLY in a 'just lay down and cuddle' sort of mindset recently. Even just laying in voice chat would be fine. Maybe I should get VR just for that reason.

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

Sooooooo I slept all day...WELP!!

I think eating even slightly unhealthy just kills my energy. I need to not get chips anymore, which sucks, but it's a sacrifice I must make 😤

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

Maaaan, ever since these meds started making me more emotional I've felt a bit more lonely and needy and, like, I don't necessarily want a RELATIONSHIP, but I want the cuddles and affection and cuteness that comes with it...so I guess I do want one.

I'm just a soft boi! 😭

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

Man, when you want to get stuff for your new design but are still waiting on the character sheet....aaaaaahhh!!! 😫

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

I feel like doing even the smallest of things is overwhelming for me at the moments. Like, my days feel longer and shorter and sitting down to do something is such a big investment, even if it's actually not.

I dunno, brains be sillies sometimes 😅

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

My mood has been way worse since taking these meds but I feel I'm able to do more. It's a weird trade. I dunno if I like being moodier, and my energy still isn't the best tho.

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

I've got a headache that just won't go away, and I hope it won't last all day cause I have stuff I want to do :<

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

@MaitreReign Right?!?! Like I would be using this image so much that people would probably start to worry 😭

[Ventery @StuffFromEllery]

This is one of my favourite meme images, but it's so out of pocket and extreme it seems almost a bit too much to just casually use considering my usual attitude 🤣