Parker Holland Official

There’s defo a planet in this galaxy where I’m the hottest person there

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

I’m a trend starter I just don’t have any trend continuers

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

I knew this would happen eventually

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

I don’t get why comedians steal jokes. Just make original bad ones. Jim Gaffigan does it and look how far he’s gotten.

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

Smoothie bowls make me sick. You have the ability to DRINK food and you put it in a bowl? Honestly disgusting.

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

Transphobia is not in the bible. Trust me, I Control F’d it.

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

“Bless You” would be a good name for a horror movie. I don’t know what it’d be about but someone else can figure that out.

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

These “which is your vibe” posts do not take into account people who don’t know how to dress, never mind in a consistent manner. I just feel unseen.

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

Graphic design hates sharp edges and I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t. #bringbackrectangles

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

Sometimes I feel like people get addicted to giving birth. Why else would they have twelve kids? There’s a high there that I will never experience.

[MAGNITUDE @MAGNITUDE_GCC]

POP POP!!!

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

Okay, I won’t. Jeez.

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

I think commas should be added wherever we feel fit.

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

Accidentally told Siri out loud to stfu and now I’m in trouble with the robots

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

I’ll say it. Whoever plays Subway Surfers behind Reddit posts sucks at the game and I could beat them easy.

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

Why’d they spell it like that I’m right in my heart

[Vac 🎃/Void 🦇 @Vacuous35]

@SubparParker *Grammarly

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

Lkng fr vwl t m cnsnnt

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

Lactose intolerant is a mindset. Stay woke, kings.

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

@Vacuous55 Think about the consequences of your actions first

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

One day I’ll have twenty EIGHT followers and you’ll all be sorry #influencer

[Parker Holland Official @SubparParker]

No, Grammerly. I like what I said and I will NOT have you try and change it. #sticktospelling #bae