Suburban Mama Said

random thoughts from a stay at home mama living life in the ‘burbs. fueled by awesome love and copious amounts of coffee and alcohol.

[Suburban Mama Said @SuburbanMama]

i had to call in the reserves (read: teacher friend) because i didn’t understand my son’s KINDERGARTEN math homework. #alltimelow #wtf #whyyousoconfusing #GOmath #whymomsdrink

[Suburban Mama Said @SuburbanMama]

when you’re having such an ugly day of that your own #iphone face ID doesn’t recognize you. #faceidfail #whytho #sendhelp #whymomsdrink

[Suburban Mama Said @SuburbanMama]

who gives my children cocaine before bedtime? #fessup #bedtimescaries #whymomsdrink

[Suburban Mama Said @SuburbanMama]

when you tell your older child to keep it down because the baby is sleeping...@jumanjimovie #Savage https://t.co/Ya8C9D02DO

[Suburban Mama Said @SuburbanMama]

never host a play date AND cook dinner on the day your beloved cleaning ladies come. might as well flush your money down your newly @Clorox toilet. #SitThereAndLookPretty

[Suburban Mama Said @SuburbanMama]

why every time i hear a knock at the door, i instantly think i’m gonnna be murdered. #duckforcover #murderersknockfirst (read: it’s @UPS)