Summertime Santa

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

Sometimes I sit and think and sometimes I just sit. #yearbookquotes

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

Guilty pleasure admission: I love it when LeBron misses free throws. Luckily for me he kind of sucks at them.

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

What the hell are these Wolves’ Statement uniforms? Does that mean they are working for the state along the highway?

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

I like to pretend I don't like attention on my birthday, but to be honest I really do.

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

I think I just had a gungasm.

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

I figure that announcers who can't make it doing #TheNationalDogShow go over to the NFL.

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

Who wants to watch football when #TheNationalDogShow is on? I don't care what @cpo_thb prefers.

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

I tried to explain to @cpo_thb why the newspaper comic Zits is funny for more than 5 minutes, but he just doesn't get it.

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

Did you see that The Band Perry played "Gentle On My Mind" the other night? And of course they fucked it up.

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

What's that? A birds eye view of a pig's ass in the moonlight?

[Summertime Santa @SummertimeSanta]

I called @cpo_thb on his desk phone last night and left a 2 minute message of background noise. #thejokeisonhim