Sean Corcoran

preferred pronoun is Jessie's girl.
comedian and writer. too old to give a fuck anymore.

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

Without Jesus, Santa never would have given us triscuits.

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

Say what you will about pee, but it is sterilicious

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

Today, was delicious.

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

A "Karen" born west of the Mississippi, prefers to be called "Kyrene".

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

No, these are "my" valentine's pizza rolls

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

I guess this is my peak on social media

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

Y'all want some sock Cheetos?

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

@jonathansfrakes is #canadian @JohnStamos

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

When you're not looking, I'll eat at @Arbys

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

The answer to every survey ever is none of the above.

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

@thatsmccarthy Back to training scissors and butter knives for you. Hope you are good man

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

But all I really wanna do is eat big Macs and fight dragons

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

Scene: Any marketing department meeting.

"{Insert celebrity name} isn't bringing in any more sales revenue. What do we do?'

"Have we tried {insert half naked Instagram models name}"

"You're fucking promoted"

"Mimosas loudly"

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

The bar I'm at for lunch started playing Irish music, so I'll be here for dinner too

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

Loosen up
Time to drop
Fuck shit up

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

@MollyRobison You are not alone #glizzy

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

If
[
User_input='are you a robot?'
Print('eat my ass with a spoon')
]
#turingtest

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

On this week's employee engagement survey I sexually identified as a Ghostbuster. I've never felt more like the real me. #brave

[KACE @bestkac3]

Corporations tonight at 11:59 p.m.

[Sean Corcoran @SuperIrishBeard]

Tinder just went into Extra Hard Mode. Good luck out there losers.