Frosty

I'm secretly Scooby-Doo

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

Reasons why Twitter is great:
1. It's the only social media I have that my parents don't
2. It's a healthy outlet for my bottled up sass
3. The things I find on twitter are great conversation starters

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

So I went to the video store today and when I parked, the guy in the car next to me had his head in his hands like he was having some kind of existential crisis. When I came out, he had vabished. Hope he's doin' alright?

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

Why do people say "single as a pringle"? Pringles are far from being single! I mean, they come in a stack after all.

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

I got a dollar off every gallon of gas today so looks like my life is finally turning around.

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

My mom asking me about my life and me giving her vague answers:

Mom: Just give me a straight answer!

Me: Mom. I'm not gay. I like girls. A lot.

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

I shouldn't be allowed to go to normal sacraments anymore because any time there's a baby sitting in the bench in front of me, I just spend the whole time making faces at it in an attempt to make it laugh.

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

My house has this intercom system where we can talk to anyone in any room of the house to make life easier, but my parents still insist on just yelling our names down the stairs if they need us

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

I appreciate this a lot

[lil hunny @_lilhunny]

I missed my flight and it was 4 hours until the next so this is what I did

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

I want someone to hug the same way Joey and Chandler hug each other

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

There's a WiFi network near my house named "FBISurveillanceBike" and I'm not sure if I should be worried or amused.

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

My parents never gave me the "talk", I learned everything I know from Friends... and when I say Friends, I mean the TV show.

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

My grandpa told me I can only have 2 girls at a time

Listen to your elders

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

I just play kahoot for the lit soundtrack.

Also it's on Spotify so life is good

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

Me: when I have kids, I'm never letting you hold them.

Little sister: when I have kids, I wont have kids because *gags*

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

Cousin who recently turned 18:

Cousin: look at me adulting; signing up for my own Netflix and reading my own mail.

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

So my family was playing Scategories and the first letter for the words that round was "B". When we were all saying our answers, there was a question about bad habits and my Grandpa said "B*tchin'" for his and I've never laughed so hard in my life.

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

Arizona: it's like St. George, but much larger

[MatPat @MatPatGT]

It's nearly 2019.
We can clone animals, fly to the moon, and build self-driving cars.

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE that the ONLY way to clean our teeth is by jamming a piece of string between them???

[Frosty @Susandynamite]

Things I say at work:

"Watch yourself. I'll spit in your drink."

Its okay, I only say it to my coworkers and people I know.

[B @CardonaBriana]

LOVE YOU STOOPID