South Western Delays

Bringing you the best of the London commute. This is a parody account.

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

@stagecoachgroup is your Basingstoke Bus 6 timetable out of date?

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

@SW_unHELPful Just. After changing platforms multiple times. Surely they’ve heard of sidings that can move the train, rather than several hundred passengers in the space of four minutes.

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

This just to let you know that I’ll be making my way into London tomorrow so you now have 12+ hours of advance notice to create all sorts of calamity on the rail network.

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

@PaulCro64176044 They’re probably managed by staff who couldn’t cut it at South Western Failway.

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

@DeborahMeaden Unfortunately there is no prize, other than (an imperial) ton of gammon.

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

It’s not always clear that this is a parody account but @SW_Help it’s very clear that you run a parody rail service. It’s absolute carnage this morning. How did you run a good service before reduced passenger numbers? I remember now, you didn’t.

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

@phil_silver14 Sorry to hear that Phil. Please note that this is a parody account. The real one is @SW_Help they are the ones that run a parody railway service. I hope you make your journey in time.

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

Our business process that we use to take your money is the one we are most proud of. But we can’t even get that right today - all the ticketing machines at Basingstoke are down.

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

What a joke we are - there is no longer a mass commute into London but we still insist on having peak ticket prices!

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

I’m proud to report that even although we are running reduced services, the remaining ones are still late. That’s us. Late. Consistently.

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

Passenger numbers are reduced, but trains are still running late. Check if your train was late and by how many minutes at https://t.co/XQuC0qFhKq

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

In a few hours time I’ll be attempting the first SWR train in 18 months into London. I expect it will be a breeze with all that down time being used to improve the service.

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

Ditto!

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

I must apologise to my followers. Since the onset of the pandemic I’ve not been commuting. Would me complaining about the conditions at home keep you entertained?

[Günter Richter 🚀 @gunterrichter]

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[Denise Welch @RealDeniseWelch]

No words 👏👏👏👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

I can't stop watching this!

[South Western Delays @SW_Trauma]

As often as we clean our trains.

[SWR Watch @swtrains_watch]

Hi @SW_Help How often are the screens and keypads on your ticket machines cleaned please? Will the current regime be stepped up given concerns around #COVID19 ?