kb

No real content, just my inner monologue. Also song lyrics, lots and lots of song lyrics.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Who has an interview after business hours? Liars.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Little known facts about ya girl: When using a hot glue gun I always burn myself. Always. When using super glue, I will inevitably glue myself, usually to myself. And when using spray paint I ALWAYS get that shit on me. Mostly fingers/hands but usually arms too. #winning

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Seriously though, just an absolute shit human.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

To be honest, I don’t care what exactly happens to you, but if you could just fall off the face of the Earth now, I’d really appreciate it.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

I miss my family.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

I just feel…flat

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

What kind of heinous piece of shit human drags their kids?

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

You have no redeeming qualities.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

So, where do they hold their baby eating parties now?

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Annnnnd now I have Alice Cooper’s “I’m eighteen” stuck in my head.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Wait, why do we care about the decrease in population? #lesspollution #lesstaxingonresources #everyonemindyourbusiness

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Imagine the surprise of all the boomers who had ICE in their contacts, ‘In Case of Emergency’

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

When you leave love notes for your coworker #workfarts

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Nothing a little Creedence can’t fix.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do…except, you know, it was Twitter then. Simpler times man.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

When your FIL is building new animal pens and makes a door that accommodates the big white girl 😂 #nomoreruinedshirts #noducking

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Say it with me now: ‘I am deserving’. Let’s heal some trauma here people. We got this.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Can I just say that I REALLY appreciate people who are in a good mood ass early in the morning, especially people in customer service

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Just saw a post that referred to our brains as an ‘electric meatball’. I will no longer accept any other term from here on out.

[kb @SwankDevotchka]

Worth every. fucking. penny.