TABellmond

MM Romance Author, photographer, GenX Stay/Army (they/them)

[Unapologetichotmess ⁷⁼¹ ⊙⊝⊜ ⟭⟬E ARE B⟬⟭CK @CoffeeDateBTS]

Two days ago, I posted about the difficulty Joon & Hobi face in making any kind of statement that could satisfy everyone.

The responses were interesting, including the ones that disagreed with me. You won't have seen all of the responses, but I did, and it was fascinating to see the range of views.

A number of people said some version of:

“They should have said SOMETHING.”

So I looked at what people responding to that post actually suggested that “something” should be.

WHAT SHOULD THEY SAY OR DO?

• An apology.
• An acknowledgement, but not necessarily an apology.
• An explanation of why they attended.
• An explanation of what they knew.
• A simple statement that there is never an excuse for violence against women.
• Reassurance about their values.
• A message specifically acknowledging fans who were hurt.
• A Live addressing it directly.
• A subtle message during a Live.
• An immediate statement saying they were aware of the concerns and looking into them.
• A donation to an organisation supporting women affected by violence.
• Changed behaviour rather than words.
• No statement at all.

WHEN SHOULD THEY SAY IT?

There was no agreement about timing either.
• They should have spoken immediately.
• They needed time to reflect.
• A couple of days would have been reasonable.
• It’s not too late now.
• It’s already too late now.

WHAT DOES THEIR SILENCE MEAN?

There was no agreement about that either.
• Silence is wise.
• Silence avoids feeding the controversy.
• Silence means they’re listening but choosing not to respond publicly.
• Silence makes them look complicit.
• Silence means they don’t care.
• Silence feels like betrayal.

WHAT DO THEY KNOW, THINK OR FEEL?

Throughout the responses, there were many, many assumptions being made about Joon and Hobi.
• They knew CB’s history.
• They didn’t know the extent of it.
• They understand why people are upset.
• They don’t understand why people are upset.
• They’re taking time to reflect.
• They’re deliberately ignoring the situation.
• They’re following PR advice.
• They’re receiving terrible PR advice.
• They don’t care.
• They care but know that speaking could make things worse.

Some of those things may be true. Some may not be.
We simply don’t know.

WHAT DOES EVERYONE ELSE WANT?

There were also plenty of assumptions about what other people in the fandom think, feel or would accept.

• ARMY just want them to acknowledge what happened.
• Most people would accept a simple statement.
• Hurt fans would accept a good-faith effort and move on.
• Fans who love them just want to know they’ve been heard.
• The people demanding a statement will never be satisfied.
• The people still angry are mostly antis or people acting in bad faith.
• Genuine ARMY would accept an apology.
• Genuine ARMY don’t need an apology.
• People asking for an apology want accountability.
• People asking for an apology want humiliation.

But the responses themselves show that ARMY do not all want the same thing.
None of us can speak for an entire fandom.

WHAT EXACTLY SHOULD THEY APOLOGISE FOR?

Even among people who wanted an apology, there wasn’t agreement about that.
• Attending the concert?
• Associating publicly with CB?
• What they knew or didn’t know beforehand?
• Posting afterwards?
• The impact on fans?
• Not responding sooner?

I’m not listing these to ridicule any of them. These are real responses from people with genuinely different expectations, experiences and feelings about the same situation.

Some are completely compatible with each other. Others directly contradict one another.

And these came from the responses to just one fan’s post across two platforms.

So when we say they should simply “say something,” I think it’s worth recognising just how many different versions of something people are actually asking for, and how much of the conversation surrounding that demand is being built on things none of us can actually know.

Imagine trying to construct the statement.

[Unapologetichotmess ⁷⁼¹ ⊙⊝⊜ ⟭⟬E ARE B⟬⟭CK @CoffeeDateBTS]

A little social media mental health exercise:

Pick a harmful hashtag.

Set a two-minute timer.

Block every account posting harmful content under it. Don’t reply. Don’t quote. Don’t engage. Just block.

When the timer goes off, close social media.

Go and see what people in the real world are actually talking about.

#BreatheWithBTS

[Unapologetichotmess ⁷⁼¹ ⊙⊝⊜ ⟭⟬E ARE B⟬⟭CK @CoffeeDateBTS]

What if...

Imagine that the Recording Academy's problematic categories received zero submissions?

Not because there isn't extraordinary music being created around the world, but because the artists being boxed into those categories collectively decided a statement needed to be made.

Suddenly this wouldn't be a story about an awards show. It would become a global conversation about discrimination, fairness, and what happens when people collectively refuse to accept being treated differently.

That's a world I'd like to see.

#IStandWithBTS

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

I vote #JHOPE for #2025MAMAVOTE

[BorafyWV @BorafyWV]

Let's spread the word about MAMA voting on weverse! Every vote counts.

I vote for #jhope for the #2025MAMAVOTE

https://t.co/dxZT4B8iEm

[JKz BAE⁷ @JeonEsHi97]

Someone said “JungKook’s eyes looks like what mikrokosmos sounds like” now I can't unsee it 🥺😭

[Unapologetichotmess ⁷⁼¹ ⊙⊝⊜ ⟭⟬E ARE B⟬⟭CK @CoffeeDateBTS]

Dear #CoffeeDateWithBTS army, #MusicRecsForBTS army, potential #EnlistWithBTS in January 2024 army, #BTSmeetARMY, and really, anyone who is waiting for 2025...

Can I have 3 minutes of your time?

Slightly less than 3 minutes actually.

I want you to spend these three minutes just watching, absorbing the ocean vibes, taking wholesome breaths and sending positive energy out to our boys.

There's a special message for you at the end that I hope will bring some comfort 💜💜💜
#OneSunsetCloserToBTS
#WeLoveYouBTS
#WaitingFor2025
#WaitingFor_JIN

[Unapologetichotmess ⁷⁼¹ ⊙⊝⊜ ⟭⟬E ARE B⟬⟭CK @CoffeeDateBTS]

Well hi! Are you new to #CoffeeDateWithBTS?

WELCOME!

I'm so glad you have chosen to check out this beautiful community.

You may be under the impression that all we do is make playlists in response to silly prompts, right? Not so. If you dare to travel back in time to November through the highlights tab on my profile, you will find a daily thought-provoking prompt. You are welcome to answer as many or few as you like if you'd still like to be part of that project.

We are currently running a #MusicRecsForBTS challenge in return for all the music recs the boys have provided us. It's not terribly serious but we are creating some very entertaining playlists!

January will take us in a new direction again for our #EnlistWithBTS project. Stay tuned for more info!

In addition, we promote and support worthy army projects, artists and inspiring accounts.

But, best of all, we offer a safe place to land. A place to be seen and heard. A place to be vulnerable. A place to get support and love. A place to belong.

We are AI-free, drama-free, fansite-free and fan wars-free. We're here for the boys and we're here for each other. We'd love to be here for you too 💜💜💜

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

This looks like a fantastic, positive project. If #bts is your life you need to join in!
#CoffeeDateWithBTS

[Unapologetichotmess ⁷⁼¹ ⊙⊝⊜ ⟭⟬E ARE B⟬⟭CK @CoffeeDateBTS]

#CoffeeDateWithBTS is only days away. Keep spreading the word, beautiful humans. Let's make this spectacular!!!

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

@hyunjinsquishy @Stray_Kids Brisbane? There‘a a Brisbane in Australia 🤔

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

@NoraPhoenixMM Sent you a link via DM Nora

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

I earned an achievement on Duolingo! It’s free, fun, and effective for learning languages.

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

Whoever put THOSE screams with the goats in #ThorLoveAndThunder needs a medal or a gift basket or a significant amount of alcohol because that is some of the funniest shit I’ve seen in a long time! Kudos to that creative genius 👏🏻
https://t.co/oL1XFijZ2p

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

A moment of calm for anyone in need. Wish you were here

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

I won the Diamond Tournament on Duolingo! It’s free, fun, and effective for learning languages.

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

This one

[The Accidental Lich™️ @n_quests]

One of the worst parts about being an adult is nobody ever asks you what your favorite animal is: so I’m asking you today.

What’s your favorite animal?

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

@mimikajjafeeluv Publish my first book. Been putting it off for years. This seems like the right time

[TABellmond @TABellmond]

@mygbebe Yes, but I totally respect their decision. Maybe I'll have to wait years now before I see them live but none of this is about me. If they come back healthier and happier it will be worth the wait.