Perkins

I'm having the time of my life! And by time of my life I mean Look at the time, what happened to my life?!

[Perkins @talesfromP]

@fwpdchiefgarcia @fortworthpd @CityofFortWorth Where is the explanation of how it was possible the baby was ejected? Thank God for quick acting police and bystanders.

[Perkins @talesfromP]

Wow! Just wow. Ally CC manager just hung up on me because I was asking questions about the fraud process. @allyracing guess you won’t credit me is to pay for the racing. Super. #creditcardbs #screwthelittlepeople

[Perkins @talesfromP]

Yes, please. Wait. The boy, not the shirt. 🤣🤣🤣

[Rock Paper Sizzle 🔥 @RPSizzle]

💪If you're seeing this, it must mean you support Trump.
👏 Let us help you show it.

✅ Classic, Tough, Real American Gear Here: https://t.co/cnDtI7BmGa

[Perkins @talesfromP]

@GrantJNBC5 Yes! And owning mistakes! We all make them!

[Perkins @talesfromP]

@Lizwontcry Ohhhh that’s the worst. My heart hurts thinking about it!

[Perkins @talesfromP]

@collin_ruth89 Is someone pregnant? 🤣

[Perkins @talesfromP]

@Lizwontcry Welllll, I think emotional trauma counts as a reason. Crying is therapeutic. Mean in to that shit.

[Perkins @talesfromP]

Douglas!

[Perkins @talesfromP]

Douglas and I are @petsuppliesplus with @EARSTexas! This is the first adoption event I’ve been to in forever! He, of course, is a rock star!! #dogsrule #AdoptDontShop

[Perkins @talesfromP]

@Lizwontcry Girl, there is nothing wrong with that!

[Perkins @talesfromP]

@fakedansavage That is a very fancy bathroom!

[Perkins @talesfromP]

Well, don't we have a hot mess out here!

[Perkins @talesfromP]

There is a woman in line behind me popping her gum. I want to tell her, “you pop that gum ONE MORE TIME.” #shemademedoit

[Perkins @talesfromP]

It is 9am on Jan 2. It is humid & gross outside. What is happening?! #yuck

[Perkins @talesfromP]

Things go wrong…and those in charge stay in their cars! 🤣🤣🤣

[Perkins @talesfromP]

Um, guess I’ll be taking the long, but cheap route!

[Perkins @talesfromP]

I am beginning to loathe @amazon with an unexpected intensity. I’m almost impressed w/ the variety of ways they screw up my deliveries.

[Perkins @talesfromP]

Ack. Washer repairman to come 3-7pm. So still fully dressed. This is horrible and so constricting!

[Perkins @talesfromP]

I think I’m having an existential crisis…and losing.

[Perkins @talesfromP]

Sometimes when you’ve been stabbed in the heart, & it is breaking (literally, metaphorically or both), this is the best medicine.