Alex

alcoholic father of 3, underpaid gigolo, fitness anarchist, game enthusiast. snapchat: Alex_TheAlky
IG: Alex_The_Alky
GT: Alex The Alky
follow me: AlexTheAlky

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

[Zombies and Boys in the Hood]

"No really doe, can you really git da virus from lettin em suck on yo dick?

Ya'll just tryna scare me."

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

I'm just trying to outlive you fuckers.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't. I'd sleep more.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

I'm at my most heroic when I protect my girlfriend from fatty foods by eating them to remove temptation.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

No I'm not wearing a brown bag over my face because I'm ugly. I'm wearing it because I'm embarassed to be seen with you.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

If you look close you'll notice that my beard is made of Mashed Potatoes.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

People without Alcohol are so Bitter.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

Thought a new car would get me chicks. Turns out I'm just ugly.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

I have a cold. My wife really gets the wrong idea when I've got so many crumpled up tissues next to my bed.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

McDonald's are the only Fries that have a time limit.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

You're entitled to your own opinions, even if you're an idiot and always wrong.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

How many calories does trying to find a comfortable way to lay in bed burn?

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

👈 Orally abusing beer bottles daily

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

You know you're an alcoholic when you've got your own reserved Bar stool.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

"No regrets" my ass. I've got a shit ton of stuff I wish I could do over.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

You're playing a dangerous game trying to wake me up. It better be for free beer, or tacos.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

Twitter logic:

For every Follower, there is an Unfollower.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

Million dollar idea: A remote controlled mini Beer Fridge.

[Alex 🥤 @AlexTheAlky]

So high I ate a pizza without cooking it first.

[Alex @Talking_Teddy]

You guys do understand that I moved to @AlexTheAlky right? Still me, less followers.