You have to stop! Stop beating yourself up because you are not where you thought you would be. God is not done with you yet. He is still working on you, shaping you and developing you. God has put a promise in your heart. Keep praying! Keep expecting your increase is coming...
Here's something to rest in:
all of the work that needed to be done to make us pleasing to God, forgiven by God, and close to God - has already been done by Christ.