Taterbug

McDonalds hamburgers are made out of cat meat.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

That reminds me of an old saying. I forget what it is. I even forget who said it.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

@MagnusCarlsen @secretlabchairs Holler if you need advice.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

@ryangrim Is there anybody in pro wrestling who isn't an actor?

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

@ryangrim Ro Khanna sat with 2 people in butterfly shirts to talk about a ranch so he's an actor.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

The turtle in the story of the rabbit and the turtle is still trying to race so that story is not the best lesson for real life. Staying composed is more about avoiding races. The turtle should pretend to race then after the rabbit runs out of sight, sit down and make a sandwich.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

...then forget to stir it up.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

A couple weeks ago I went into the Pierpont center gas station where I buy a chocolate milk almost daily and my first chug was of something that tasted and smelled (to me and others there) like motor oil or chemicals. I thought, it can't hurt to call the police, so I did.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

Who knows if farmers put steroids in stuff, but if they do, it's unlikely they use measuring devices and much more likely they just put in a couple of extra buckets full to make sure it's enough.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

Elvis and James Dean are famous because they were cool, so making a movie about them with regular uncool people playing them is hard to watch. Nobody wants to watch douchebag zero charisma actors play the most charismatic guys ever.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

@danacarvey Baba Looey, Quick Draw McGraw's sidekick.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

@olivertraldi Socrates could never get a job in a think tank because he doesn't meet the primary quality of being legit, which is to be full of sh*t. Also because he's dead.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

@e_cdalton The "Costanza look" is for getting work.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

How does the trademark office know if a new swish logo is different from all of the other tens of thousands of swish logos.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

Proud to live in a country where we are 100% free to say how perfect and good the government is.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

@briebriejoy Prediction: The water will eventually be replaced by a giant mirror instead of with grass.

[Taterbug @Taterbugshow]

@kevin_nealon I recognize tarzan and tonto but who's the other guy.