Swampy

Lover of animals, hater of cockwombles and other samesuch shitfuckery.

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

The reason why we can't have nice thingz

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Vet's message after putting down five dogs in one day https://t.co/xo7Frqw6uG

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

@JeremyClarkson Kept hens since '07. Tons of foxes, lost 0. It's YOUR fault, not the foxes. Idiot.

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

It is with great sadness that I tell you we have lost the unique, funny, annoying and loving life force that was Hellcat. Our tubby whirlwind of madness died this morning and I keep forgetting to breathe 💔

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Fdcifd 😀

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Princess Stripey Bastard has entered the room at speed, apparently on some sorta mish. Srsly, she looks like she is hunting for her keys 😯

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Pahaha! 😂

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Hellcat is currently working out ways to irritate the shit out of me.

She's doing a grand job 🙅

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

The chikinz are in a 'stand aside - we shall assist!' kinda mood.

They aren't assisting 🐔 🌪

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Addicted to Linda McCartney 'beef' wellington bites. Working my way through packet number 2. Don't judge me 😁

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Have just used up the remainder of my data allowance with this angry search: 'Why is there a fucking diversion on the fucking Stratford BASTARD road?'

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

I still love the furry gits tho 🐕🐈🐀

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

The animals have clubbed together to completely shatter my enjoyment of the Harry Potter movie. Hellcat, especially, is being an utter bastard. 😡

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Pahahaa! https://t.co/b01hLdxwpg

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

I am cracking up at this! https://t.co/ziNM1xnyUN

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Take a picture of the cat they said. It'll be cute they said

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Face down cat is face down

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

@Clement_Cat That's meeeee!

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Currently shouting 'WHYYYY?!' at a passing Jaguar, complete with arm-waving and angry frowns

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Fucks sake. The next damn coat I get will have buttons or a zip. At the moment I am a veritable vision in velcro 😣

[Swampy @TATTYHENS]

Have just seen myself in a full length mirror & now I understand why everyone iz staring.

Simply put: I look like a hobo