Tom Edwards

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@daniel_parker63 @Criminalsimpson You mean your Chevy?

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@Criminalsimpson Well, very clever Simpson. Luring our bees to your sugar pile and then selling them back to us at an inflated price

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@Criminalsimpson Where’s my Burrito? Where’s my Burrito!

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@nxd1979 @simpsonsfeed Hey that’s my shovel!

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@dailysimpsons You ever been hunting before there Barty?
I dunno. Something about a bunch of guys alone together in the woods, seems kinda gay

That is a VERY immature attitude young man!

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@Criminalsimpson No foot longs

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@simpsons_DG I got something really special planned for Valentine’s Day
It’s not that monkey card I found in the car is it?

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@Criminalsimpson They never should have cancelled that show

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@AndyNaylorBHAFC Well that’s us told isn’t it. Sit down, shit up and be grateful you’ll finish 16th

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@AndyNaylorBHAFC I’m sure the club will be very irritated tonight by the moaning from us ungrateful fans who’ve seen 1 league win in 11

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@KieranMaguire Broadsword calling Kevin Day. Broadsword calling Kevin Day

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@wearebrighton Will add that we never managed to beat Macclesfield at Moss Rose but at least we drew 2 out of 3 and pretty sure we played better than palace in all of them

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@MooreRMFC “Can I have your manager Todd?”
“Err yes you can Todd”
“Thank you very much Todd”

That’s me talking to myself. Not another bloke called Todd

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@farlesbarkley62 @Criminalsimpson No sir, I’m very sorry sir. An older boy told me to do it

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@Criminalsimpson Uh..you got a men’s room in there?

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@Criminalsimpson I only stole two sandwiches and a bag of Doritos!

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@brnurse He popped you into the bath?

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@Criminalsimpson Second, no eggnog. In fact, no nog. Period!

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@Criminalsimpson Mrs Simpson, what did you and your husband do after you were ejecting from the restaurant?

[Tom Edwards @TCEd25]

@Beesotted You mean 6 people pointing out what an utterly hypocritical fuckwit you are?