Al

got b*nned for saying k*ll all l*ndlords

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

Anyway, hold your people close

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

Losing a friend to drugs is so fucking painful I was not prepared

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

Life is just everyone telling you that you’d like Tom Waits then you eventually get into Tom Waits

[vivi @mooncatvivi]

[feeling like i have more in common with the dirt beneath my shoes than with the people around me] haha no big plans for me this weekend. what about you

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

And you know what? If you have the dick you need to be bringing the condom. I don’t care if you’re a girl. Purse

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

All I said was I’m havin a bad day and bestie said “I’m on my way” I fucking love him

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

@Aness6969 @gbrl_dick Yes

[Julian K. Jarboe @JulianKJarboe]

I looked at the Ethel Cain IG post to see what you were all talking about. They are soft focus very pretty boudoir photos. Everyone upset is allergic to fun, beauty, and thinks a flaccid penis is literally a gun pointed at their head.

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

Oh I’m gonna have to go to therapy on this one

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

When given a choice about anything I’m gonna pick the WORST ONE no one can stop me

[𝔭𝔥𝔬𝔢𝔟𝔢 🥀 @bbfeebeee]

Damn, if you tell someone who regularly sees a chiropractor that the guy who invented it learned it from ghosts they get really mad.

[charlie @BUNNlCULA]

damn i just realized 9-to-5 means 9 days a day 5 weeks a day a week 9 to days a 5 week a hours 9 days

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

Cool cool now I’m just addicted to nicotine gum

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

@lvl1corpse Holy shit I got it from the library and left it in my windowsill and it got wet so I had to secretly blow dry it each morning before returning it because I didn’t want my mom to know. Memory unlocked

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

guy fieri: okay, little lady, walk me through how we’re grillin’ this cheese

me: two pieces of white bread, well-buttered. then the star of the show

guy fieri: we talkin’ gruyère? pepper jack? gouda?

me: kraft single

guy fieri: sleazy does it, sister

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

Yes I will be throwing myself at this emotionally unavailable man and perhaps after that, into the sea

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

Worked a ten hour day and came home to no heat in my house. Perfect

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

Turns out all I needed to be a productive member of society was prescription meth

[Al @TechnicolorAl]

Certified hottie in the planned parenthood waiting room rn