Horny Ted

I like gettin high and fuckin bitches. Follow me.

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

Well this is awkward, Blue Ivy isn't blue at all....she's BLACK!

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

fuck you thunda, fuck you thunda, fuck you thunda, DAMNIT! The thunda song aint workin! #HELP

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

I'm starting to get good at this whole "get rid of the dead hooker" thing

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

When it comes down to it everyone is fake in one way shape or form....my self included

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

It's funny how you think I'm joking when I say I fucked your mom...

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

*Beep Beep Beep* Oh what's that? Just the truckloads of pussy I get backing up.

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

You're pregnant? PEACE BITCH!

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

Got 69 followers, you thinkin what I'm thinkin......I NEED MORE!!!

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

So does the sham-wow guy think he can just have a come back after beating up a hooker #shticky

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

I'm letting go tonight...

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

Alcohol... because remembering is overrated.

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

Went to build a bear today....It's like a slaughter house for teddy bears! #scarred #nevergoingback

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

You have double D's? Let me double check that for you.

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

Bitches be freaky here!

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

You like giving blowjobs!? I like gettin them! We should totally make something happen.

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

I'm gonna make the responsible decision and not drink tn......ahahaha I'm just fuckin with ya, I'm drinkin straight Georgie

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

Ughhh my fucking head...

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

Damn, some of these bitches in the hot dog eating contest could definitely down a huge cock like nothin

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

You're drunk already!? WOW you are so cool. I'll be sure to remember that when I'm snorting off your sisters belly BITCH! #getatme

[Horny Ted @TedHorny]

#MERICA